This delicious after-Thanksgiving gem comes to us via Huffpost's Gay Voices section. National Organization for Marriage is a kooky bunch. Basically, this woman from NOM made a video as a message for college students to see over the Thanksgiving break, telling them that they should tell their families if there were any "gay events" or if there were "gay RAs" at whatever school they dorm at. She went on to theorize that young people are being pressured to "accept" gays because they have gay peers.
You like your friends. You want them to be protected under the same laws you are, so they can find jobs and have health coverage appropriate for them? Well now...PEER PRESSURE! Or not. Could just be realizing that discrimination is totally jacked, regardless of religion, color, creed, or whatever? Who was this really directed at, students from "Straight-Protestant-Men Rule The Roost-White-SmallTown, USA?
Hold on...we are talking about NOM. It never ends.
Bisexual turkey, anyone?
Tuesday, November 27, 2012
Thursday, November 22, 2012
Something Really Good is Going On.
It has been a really long time since I've kept up on this blog. My apologies. Good news though, I do see coming back here and writing more often again!
I have a very cool thing to talk about today. The main campus of Philadelphia's Community College, which serves thousands of students from all over the city, officially has an activist Gay-Straight Alliance. The GSA was formed both as a "safe space" and as a center for resources and student rights for our LGBT and ally staff and students. We have some very high hopes for this group. We already have almost one hundred standing members, a full executive board, and full support from the staff GSA and allies.
I see some very cool things happening with this group. We've already reached out and made contact with the HRC, the GSA National Network, and You Can Play. It's getting very big, very fast. I am happy to be a part of the executive board of the first ever official LGBT campus group with a focus on real change as well as social interaction.
As can be expected, we've already started facing opposition from others. It's not clear whether or not it was something organized or individually motivated, but not even a week after it was set up, our office was littered with religious groups' material. People have objections that we are even on campus. Personally, I expected this kind of ignorance. Look at everything the LGBT community has faced over time, just like this. The fact that such ignorance is on display does nothing to me other than prove that this group and safe space NEED to be at CCP. I am irked that our office was vandalized, that is a clear violation of our students' rights. But whatever- we aren't here for people who use God as an excuse to be ignorant and hateful. We are here to promote tolerance and unity for our student body, gay or not. We will get through this, and whatever other b/s we get handed. It just proves our point!
I am also very happy to be an out bisexual on such a group's board. Anybody who's read this blog with any regularity knows that it really pisses me off when bi and trans-identified people get marginalized within the community. Everyone always says that the B and the T aren't really part of the fight, and they couldn't be more wrong. You know who was at Stonewall? Drag Queens, T-girls, gay guys, and bi men! We all have a reason to be here, fighting for our safety and civil rights. And I am PROUD to be putting the B in LGBT.
Happy Thanksgiving, Everybody!
I have a very cool thing to talk about today. The main campus of Philadelphia's Community College, which serves thousands of students from all over the city, officially has an activist Gay-Straight Alliance. The GSA was formed both as a "safe space" and as a center for resources and student rights for our LGBT and ally staff and students. We have some very high hopes for this group. We already have almost one hundred standing members, a full executive board, and full support from the staff GSA and allies.
I see some very cool things happening with this group. We've already reached out and made contact with the HRC, the GSA National Network, and You Can Play. It's getting very big, very fast. I am happy to be a part of the executive board of the first ever official LGBT campus group with a focus on real change as well as social interaction.
As can be expected, we've already started facing opposition from others. It's not clear whether or not it was something organized or individually motivated, but not even a week after it was set up, our office was littered with religious groups' material. People have objections that we are even on campus. Personally, I expected this kind of ignorance. Look at everything the LGBT community has faced over time, just like this. The fact that such ignorance is on display does nothing to me other than prove that this group and safe space NEED to be at CCP. I am irked that our office was vandalized, that is a clear violation of our students' rights. But whatever- we aren't here for people who use God as an excuse to be ignorant and hateful. We are here to promote tolerance and unity for our student body, gay or not. We will get through this, and whatever other b/s we get handed. It just proves our point!
I am also very happy to be an out bisexual on such a group's board. Anybody who's read this blog with any regularity knows that it really pisses me off when bi and trans-identified people get marginalized within the community. Everyone always says that the B and the T aren't really part of the fight, and they couldn't be more wrong. You know who was at Stonewall? Drag Queens, T-girls, gay guys, and bi men! We all have a reason to be here, fighting for our safety and civil rights. And I am PROUD to be putting the B in LGBT.
Happy Thanksgiving, Everybody!
Friday, September 28, 2012
Outing Myself in World Cultures
So it has been some time since I last posted. It's been really crazy lately. I just started a new job that has pretty much swallowed up my life outside of school, and my laptop is still totally wrecked, so blogging hasn't really been high up on my to-do list.
Speaking of school, one of the classes I'm taking this semester is a humanities course that focuses on ancient cultures. Basically, this class uses time-relevant literature as a measuring stick and discussion point for the study of ancient societies. Last week we opened up the discussion on the ancient Greeks. Anybody who has knowledge of that era and culture knows that in those days, bisexuality was not only socially acceptable, but people were very open about those tendencies. It just wasn't really "anything" back in their time. One of my classmates, on hearing that, loudly crops up with "and that's why they BURNED". Nobody said a WORD. I just sat there staring at her, trying hard not to flip out and trying to observe the reaction of my classmates.
I was furious. I live in a country that is supposedly free, so I accept that not everyone here is going to understand or respect people in my situation. What really irked me wasn't the kernel of bi bashing I'd just had to deal with, it was that nobody said a thing about it at all. If we would have been discussing gays or lesbians, it's safe to assume that there would have been a lot more of a reaction to what was said. At the very least, some teeth would have been clicked, or somebody would have muttered something about 'bigotry' or 'ignorance'. Somebody most likely would have responded even just to save face- not being homophobic is almost straddling the line of political correctness now, it looks bad socially to be anti-gay.
But biphobic? The message that was sent with that room full of silence was crystal clear: saying hateful things about gays is wrong, but bisexuals...by all means! Not one person in that room, hetero or homo, stood up. Not to save face, not to look good, not to legitimately care. This was a subtle, but loud, reaffirmation that switch hitters don't get accepted as straight and don't get accepted as gay. They are somewhere in between, leaving many people to wonder why the "anti-hate measures" don't seem to include them. Yet again. And yet again- I say BIPHOBIA is HOMOPHOBIA in disguise.
So a week after that debacle, we were dissecting the poetry of Sappho. There were a lot of cracks about Sappho and the Isle of Lesbos. (hardy har...get some new material, geeze...), and for whatever reason many people in the class were convinced that Sappho was a man. When asked about what I thought about the poetry, I was honest in saying that the way Sappho wrote sounded like lesbian communication. When I was asked why I thought that, I pretty much couldn't get around saying that it sounded familiar and from my own experience. The looks on the classmates' faces were priceless. I got a lot of the disapproving looks from older Protestant women and gross, seedy responses from the males in earshot.
Needless to say, I'm not loving this class at ALL. It saddens me, because this is something totally up my alley. I should love this course. But in all honesty, it's immensely uncomfortable for me and I am counting down the days until finals.
Speaking of school, one of the classes I'm taking this semester is a humanities course that focuses on ancient cultures. Basically, this class uses time-relevant literature as a measuring stick and discussion point for the study of ancient societies. Last week we opened up the discussion on the ancient Greeks. Anybody who has knowledge of that era and culture knows that in those days, bisexuality was not only socially acceptable, but people were very open about those tendencies. It just wasn't really "anything" back in their time. One of my classmates, on hearing that, loudly crops up with "and that's why they BURNED". Nobody said a WORD. I just sat there staring at her, trying hard not to flip out and trying to observe the reaction of my classmates.
I was furious. I live in a country that is supposedly free, so I accept that not everyone here is going to understand or respect people in my situation. What really irked me wasn't the kernel of bi bashing I'd just had to deal with, it was that nobody said a thing about it at all. If we would have been discussing gays or lesbians, it's safe to assume that there would have been a lot more of a reaction to what was said. At the very least, some teeth would have been clicked, or somebody would have muttered something about 'bigotry' or 'ignorance'. Somebody most likely would have responded even just to save face- not being homophobic is almost straddling the line of political correctness now, it looks bad socially to be anti-gay.
But biphobic? The message that was sent with that room full of silence was crystal clear: saying hateful things about gays is wrong, but bisexuals...by all means! Not one person in that room, hetero or homo, stood up. Not to save face, not to look good, not to legitimately care. This was a subtle, but loud, reaffirmation that switch hitters don't get accepted as straight and don't get accepted as gay. They are somewhere in between, leaving many people to wonder why the "anti-hate measures" don't seem to include them. Yet again. And yet again- I say BIPHOBIA is HOMOPHOBIA in disguise.
So a week after that debacle, we were dissecting the poetry of Sappho. There were a lot of cracks about Sappho and the Isle of Lesbos. (hardy har...get some new material, geeze...), and for whatever reason many people in the class were convinced that Sappho was a man. When asked about what I thought about the poetry, I was honest in saying that the way Sappho wrote sounded like lesbian communication. When I was asked why I thought that, I pretty much couldn't get around saying that it sounded familiar and from my own experience. The looks on the classmates' faces were priceless. I got a lot of the disapproving looks from older Protestant women and gross, seedy responses from the males in earshot.
Needless to say, I'm not loving this class at ALL. It saddens me, because this is something totally up my alley. I should love this course. But in all honesty, it's immensely uncomfortable for me and I am counting down the days until finals.
Tuesday, September 11, 2012
Party Politics Under the Rainbow
In one way, I think I'm finally getting tired of all of the political chatter that has been front and center in our society lately. The ultra negative campaigning done on behalf of both major contenders in the presidential race are both annoying and, at times, infuriating.
In a lot of other ways, I can't help but be interested in hearing the thousands of other political perspectives out there. It seems like there are as many political wavelengths as there are religious or cultural, and people take all of the above extremely seriously. In reading through what felt like a trillion op-ed pieces today, I came across this gem: Why Are We So Afraid of Gay Republicans?
The gay community has very often been noted as a wealthy contingent in buying power and in political backing. This idea has been challenged, but somehow the view of the "pink dollar" still holds some weight. It is a safe assumption that workplace/hiring equality, marriage laws, and adoption policies are at the forefront of LGBT political issues. I read in a compilation book a few months ago an essay arguing the point of American LGBT people as being "the ultimate conservatives because they are fighting for the rights to marry and have family-centered lives, as well as the right to serve openly in the US military".
I think that's a pretty interesting concept, considering people tend to view the Republican party the same way: Either it's the illusion (or actual presence) of plenty of income OR it's about "traditional"/family-centered values with a heavy nod to the armed forces. That in mind, I don't think the idea of a gay Republican is too far fetched. I would go so far as to say that the presence of such right wingers is perplexing mainly due to the media slant from the Left. (I don't doubt that there are networks that have a liberal bias to mirror the much-lamented bias of FOX.)
I wonder what this concept would mean for voters that identify as bisexual. Like everything else, studies and polls don't seem to include solely that very fluid group of people. For the record, THIS one doesn't really like the idea of running a country by party politics. It seems childish and counterproductive to me.
On a somewhat lighter note, At least Google doesn't immediately associate the word 'bisexual' with porn anymore.
In a lot of other ways, I can't help but be interested in hearing the thousands of other political perspectives out there. It seems like there are as many political wavelengths as there are religious or cultural, and people take all of the above extremely seriously. In reading through what felt like a trillion op-ed pieces today, I came across this gem: Why Are We So Afraid of Gay Republicans?
The gay community has very often been noted as a wealthy contingent in buying power and in political backing. This idea has been challenged, but somehow the view of the "pink dollar" still holds some weight. It is a safe assumption that workplace/hiring equality, marriage laws, and adoption policies are at the forefront of LGBT political issues. I read in a compilation book a few months ago an essay arguing the point of American LGBT people as being "the ultimate conservatives because they are fighting for the rights to marry and have family-centered lives, as well as the right to serve openly in the US military".
I think that's a pretty interesting concept, considering people tend to view the Republican party the same way: Either it's the illusion (or actual presence) of plenty of income OR it's about "traditional"/family-centered values with a heavy nod to the armed forces. That in mind, I don't think the idea of a gay Republican is too far fetched. I would go so far as to say that the presence of such right wingers is perplexing mainly due to the media slant from the Left. (I don't doubt that there are networks that have a liberal bias to mirror the much-lamented bias of FOX.)
I wonder what this concept would mean for voters that identify as bisexual. Like everything else, studies and polls don't seem to include solely that very fluid group of people. For the record, THIS one doesn't really like the idea of running a country by party politics. It seems childish and counterproductive to me.
On a somewhat lighter note, At least Google doesn't immediately associate the word 'bisexual' with porn anymore.
Thursday, August 2, 2012
Well, I guess I'm going to have to weigh in now that this is blowing up....
Chik Fil A. Yes, I am talking about chicken sandwiches, waffle fries, Constitutional Amendments, and Christianity.
The big thing with this company is that the CEO of Chik Fil A made some pretty strong comments about how his company supports heterosexual marriage only because of their religious beliefs. You know what? I don't have a problem with that statement in the least. This is supposed to be a free country, where all private citizens are entitled to their beliefs and opinions. It's not really a secret that Chik Fil A was founded by, and is run by, a very strict Christian family. In the grand scheme of things, I agree with Cathy that his operation is family owned and (for the most part) family run, at least on the corporate level. That's like a super-large scale version of a family store/eatery in my eyes, so he's free to blab about whatever he wants to. It's not only his business, it's his right as a citizen to do such things, even if I think he's hypocritical.
My beef (ha) with Chik Fil A has always been that they use direct customer profits to fund not only the WinShape foundation camps...but also groups like NOM and Focus on the Family. These groups are extremist and badly sourced, they're pretty much the PETA of gay rights. That set aside, I have always felt that if a person wants to use his or her private money to support their beliefs and politics...go ham. It's your money, I have no right to tell you not to do things with it. For every right wing nutcase who donates to NOM, there are plenty of others who do the same thing for the opposite view organizations. I know I won't support Chik Fil A so long as the dime from my purchase goes to corporations who would rather see a Hollywood divorce than a successful gay marriage. When the direct profit funding stops, if Cathy wants to back the NOM mobile for the next sixty years...if it's his own money off of his direct earnings, he can do whatever he wants. Business and beliefs can merge to a certain degree, but in my opinion they're best left separate to avoid things just like this.
The big thing with this company is that the CEO of Chik Fil A made some pretty strong comments about how his company supports heterosexual marriage only because of their religious beliefs. You know what? I don't have a problem with that statement in the least. This is supposed to be a free country, where all private citizens are entitled to their beliefs and opinions. It's not really a secret that Chik Fil A was founded by, and is run by, a very strict Christian family. In the grand scheme of things, I agree with Cathy that his operation is family owned and (for the most part) family run, at least on the corporate level. That's like a super-large scale version of a family store/eatery in my eyes, so he's free to blab about whatever he wants to. It's not only his business, it's his right as a citizen to do such things, even if I think he's hypocritical.
My beef (ha) with Chik Fil A has always been that they use direct customer profits to fund not only the WinShape foundation camps...but also groups like NOM and Focus on the Family. These groups are extremist and badly sourced, they're pretty much the PETA of gay rights. That set aside, I have always felt that if a person wants to use his or her private money to support their beliefs and politics...go ham. It's your money, I have no right to tell you not to do things with it. For every right wing nutcase who donates to NOM, there are plenty of others who do the same thing for the opposite view organizations. I know I won't support Chik Fil A so long as the dime from my purchase goes to corporations who would rather see a Hollywood divorce than a successful gay marriage. When the direct profit funding stops, if Cathy wants to back the NOM mobile for the next sixty years...if it's his own money off of his direct earnings, he can do whatever he wants. Business and beliefs can merge to a certain degree, but in my opinion they're best left separate to avoid things just like this.
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
A Sad Loss for Minds and Queers, And Mindful Queers too.
"There is no such thing as a homosexual or a
heterosexual person. There are only homo- or heterosexual acts. Most
people are a mixture of impulses if not practices.""Now you have people in Washington who have no
interest in the country at all. They're interested in their companies,
their corporations grabbing Caspian oil."
Just two of my favorite quotes from the recently departed Gore Vidal.
Just two of my favorite quotes from the recently departed Gore Vidal.
Monday, July 9, 2012
Creepster Brewer.
Good morning people!
I am back up on my soapbox for a moment. The governor of Arizona is pushing to have employers not cover domestic partners in benefits packages, and that just about burns my bum like a three foot flame. It is my belief that when it comes to employment-related things of this nature, an employee is an employee regardless of orientation. Therefore, gay employees should be covered under the same family benefits as straight ones are. It is not your employer's business who you go home to. It doesn't cost more to cover a gay person's insurance costs. (Wow can you believe that, we're not all AIDS liabilities after all!)
Things like this drive me up a wall. In a country where it's hard enough to find decent work, let alone decent work with good benefits, this type of issue should really be a nonpoint. What you do for a living has no connection to what your orientation is. Unless of course, you're gay for pay. Then...well, that's a different story.
I am back up on my soapbox for a moment. The governor of Arizona is pushing to have employers not cover domestic partners in benefits packages, and that just about burns my bum like a three foot flame. It is my belief that when it comes to employment-related things of this nature, an employee is an employee regardless of orientation. Therefore, gay employees should be covered under the same family benefits as straight ones are. It is not your employer's business who you go home to. It doesn't cost more to cover a gay person's insurance costs. (Wow can you believe that, we're not all AIDS liabilities after all!)
Things like this drive me up a wall. In a country where it's hard enough to find decent work, let alone decent work with good benefits, this type of issue should really be a nonpoint. What you do for a living has no connection to what your orientation is. Unless of course, you're gay for pay. Then...well, that's a different story.
Monday, July 2, 2012
Yay, Nay, and a Whale of a Tale!
On a Yay! Note:
"Let bygones be bygones, and bi-girls be bi-girls" made me just about squee with joy at True Blood this weekend.
On a Nay! Note:
Looking at pictures from this weekend made me cry. What the FUCK is that redheaded whale doing in my bathing suit?! :'(
"Let bygones be bygones, and bi-girls be bi-girls" made me just about squee with joy at True Blood this weekend.
On a Nay! Note:
Looking at pictures from this weekend made me cry. What the FUCK is that redheaded whale doing in my bathing suit?! :'(
Thursday, June 28, 2012
Obama and The Rainbow Paint.
Hey, so I know it's been a while. Things have been a little bit nuts for the last couple weeks, and I'm in sore need of a vacation. Which I'm taking tomorrow, so I figured I'd get this post in before I left for the weekend.
I want to chip my two cents in on a topic that's been really buzzing in both the political and gay circles for a while now. Barack Obama's reelection/marketing is working serious overtime for a second term. His campaign is now including merchandise and targeted messages for the women, Latino, Black, and gay votes. Obama Pride has been catching a lot of attention. The campaign was giving out free rainbow "Out for Obama" stickers and merchandise at all pride events this year. The White House even had a pride event for the first time in history this June.
On one hand, I am happy to see the Obama administration actually trying to make progress with LGBT issues, like the repeal of the extremely unnecessary and stupid DADT for the US military. On the other, I'm actually a little bit insulted at the flamboyance of all this "rainbow washing". It sort of reminds me of a Family Guy skit where Lois was running for office and was told that undecided voters will pretty much go for anything that hits a chord with them. Insulting.
It's so transparent that this is a tactic for the HRC's backing and the gay vote. That vote is a pretty big deal to the reelection because traditionally the gays have the money to fund politicians that serve their cause. (I guess the hetero half of me keeps me broke, because I don't see ANY financial benefits to being a switch hitter. BOOO!)
I really hate how the gay-friendly wash on Obama is supposed to drag the entire LGBT community to his re-election. There are other issues that have effects on this community besides bullying and marriage, believe it or not. How can we even get into workplace discrimination if our labor situation and economy suck? How can we talk about LGBT health conferences when Americans of every possible creed and orientation can't afford basic health care? We're worried about bullying...when our national drop out rate is rising every year and our education situation is getting more hopeless for all students every day?
Granted, I don't believe that Mitt Romney is good for gays (or America at this time, for that matter) but is the fake spectacle that is "Obama Pride" really necessary?
I want to chip my two cents in on a topic that's been really buzzing in both the political and gay circles for a while now. Barack Obama's reelection/marketing is working serious overtime for a second term. His campaign is now including merchandise and targeted messages for the women, Latino, Black, and gay votes. Obama Pride has been catching a lot of attention. The campaign was giving out free rainbow "Out for Obama" stickers and merchandise at all pride events this year. The White House even had a pride event for the first time in history this June.
On one hand, I am happy to see the Obama administration actually trying to make progress with LGBT issues, like the repeal of the extremely unnecessary and stupid DADT for the US military. On the other, I'm actually a little bit insulted at the flamboyance of all this "rainbow washing". It sort of reminds me of a Family Guy skit where Lois was running for office and was told that undecided voters will pretty much go for anything that hits a chord with them. Insulting.
It's so transparent that this is a tactic for the HRC's backing and the gay vote. That vote is a pretty big deal to the reelection because traditionally the gays have the money to fund politicians that serve their cause. (I guess the hetero half of me keeps me broke, because I don't see ANY financial benefits to being a switch hitter. BOOO!)
I really hate how the gay-friendly wash on Obama is supposed to drag the entire LGBT community to his re-election. There are other issues that have effects on this community besides bullying and marriage, believe it or not. How can we even get into workplace discrimination if our labor situation and economy suck? How can we talk about LGBT health conferences when Americans of every possible creed and orientation can't afford basic health care? We're worried about bullying...when our national drop out rate is rising every year and our education situation is getting more hopeless for all students every day?
Granted, I don't believe that Mitt Romney is good for gays (or America at this time, for that matter) but is the fake spectacle that is "Obama Pride" really necessary?
Sunday, June 17, 2012
On the Brink of Being Totally Off Topic. Almost...
" you can live a lie until you die, but one thing you can't hide is when you're crippled inside..."
One of the things that was really hard for me in figuring out what was going on with my orientation was dealing with what everyone else considered "normal". Growing up, I saw very little representation of gay life and even less of the grey area called bisexuality. When I was really young, before anything really starting coming together, all I knew was that something was different than what everyone else seemed to be. That feeling that you're not "normal" for whatever reason is one of the things that keeps people in the closet, and generally leads to people being very frustrated in their lives. A lot of people go through the motions of what's "supposed to be" in their lives at various points, and completely deny everything that they want or feel normal about internally to fit into other peoples pretty little boxes of expectations. People who are gay or bisexual will sometimes go through their entire lives the way an "average, red-blooded heterosexual" would do it...and this almost always ends in complete failure.
Maybe it's the shrink in me, but I'm fascinated by this entire idea.
Ultimately, everyone involved in these weird situations gets completely fucked in the head. (Sorry but really, it's the only way to totally capture the effect.) All these people who allow other people to run their every move, subconsciously or otherwise, end up in these hollow, miserable circumstances. People get into relationships and sometimes even marry into relationships that they don't even want to please everyone else. People will go into fields of study or careers they can't stand for the same reasons. There's almost always some nagging individual that manages to know exactly how to get into others' minds to manipulate these deeds. At the end of the day, how many people wander around in these fake, elaborate lies? It seems like an absolutely awful way to live, especially when coupled with the idea that these people usually lie to themselves and everyone else to kind of "fake it til they make it" (which is a load of dung if there ever was one).
Then the people who push these expectations and such onto others are really setting themselves up for massive disappointment. Even when their pretty little mice run the maze like they're "supposed to", there's no guarantee that everything works out in these puppet masters' favors. Most of the time, these subjects get to a point where they can't deal with the lie anymore and just crack. Usually in an enormous way that there's no coming back from. Every single shred of the controlling/masochistic relationship goes down the drain for all the involved parties and then everyone is all jacked up.
How in the holy name of God does that sound healthy/appealing? What is it about people that makes it seem like other peoples' opinions are really worth that much? Is it scarring from psychological trauma and bullying, or is it something else entirely?
One of the things that was really hard for me in figuring out what was going on with my orientation was dealing with what everyone else considered "normal". Growing up, I saw very little representation of gay life and even less of the grey area called bisexuality. When I was really young, before anything really starting coming together, all I knew was that something was different than what everyone else seemed to be. That feeling that you're not "normal" for whatever reason is one of the things that keeps people in the closet, and generally leads to people being very frustrated in their lives. A lot of people go through the motions of what's "supposed to be" in their lives at various points, and completely deny everything that they want or feel normal about internally to fit into other peoples pretty little boxes of expectations. People who are gay or bisexual will sometimes go through their entire lives the way an "average, red-blooded heterosexual" would do it...and this almost always ends in complete failure.
Maybe it's the shrink in me, but I'm fascinated by this entire idea.
Ultimately, everyone involved in these weird situations gets completely fucked in the head. (Sorry but really, it's the only way to totally capture the effect.) All these people who allow other people to run their every move, subconsciously or otherwise, end up in these hollow, miserable circumstances. People get into relationships and sometimes even marry into relationships that they don't even want to please everyone else. People will go into fields of study or careers they can't stand for the same reasons. There's almost always some nagging individual that manages to know exactly how to get into others' minds to manipulate these deeds. At the end of the day, how many people wander around in these fake, elaborate lies? It seems like an absolutely awful way to live, especially when coupled with the idea that these people usually lie to themselves and everyone else to kind of "fake it til they make it" (which is a load of dung if there ever was one).
Then the people who push these expectations and such onto others are really setting themselves up for massive disappointment. Even when their pretty little mice run the maze like they're "supposed to", there's no guarantee that everything works out in these puppet masters' favors. Most of the time, these subjects get to a point where they can't deal with the lie anymore and just crack. Usually in an enormous way that there's no coming back from. Every single shred of the controlling/masochistic relationship goes down the drain for all the involved parties and then everyone is all jacked up.
How in the holy name of God does that sound healthy/appealing? What is it about people that makes it seem like other peoples' opinions are really worth that much? Is it scarring from psychological trauma and bullying, or is it something else entirely?
Sunday, June 10, 2012
One of my favorite bisexuals is back tonight!
Muhahahaha! True Blood comes back tonight. I am very excited for this!
(Stereotypical on so many levels, I know.)
One of the main characters is played by Anna Paquin, one of my favorite bisexual actresses. It so rocks to see her decide to be out for a reason, like helping the Give A Damn campaign, where she first publicly came out.
“I’m not someone who endlessly talks about her personal life for no reason, but obviously, as someone who identifies as bisexual, those are issues I really care about.”
I love that. I really think that bisexuals need to make an effort to view "gay issues" in that way, because it DOES have an effect on our lives as much as it does for gays and lesbians. I think some bi bashing comes from the idea that we sometimes blend into hetero society and don't seem very interested in issues like workplace or marriage equality. That's a shame for those that don't bother, and it sucks to be put in that category when you're bisexual and actually DO give a damn!
She also represents well for the bi community in the straight media, which is very hard for bisexuals in straight relationships. It's great to see somebody say what all the people in that situation think everyday, regardless of how people will perceive it.
“I’m someone who believes being bisexual is actually a thing,” she continues. “It’s not made up. It’s not a lack of decision. It’s not being greedy or numerous other ignorant things I’ve heard at this point. … For a bisexual, it’s not about gender. That’s not the deciding factor for who they’re attracted to"
Fang-tastic. (That was bad. Sorry.)
(Stereotypical on so many levels, I know.)
One of the main characters is played by Anna Paquin, one of my favorite bisexual actresses. It so rocks to see her decide to be out for a reason, like helping the Give A Damn campaign, where she first publicly came out.
“I’m not someone who endlessly talks about her personal life for no reason, but obviously, as someone who identifies as bisexual, those are issues I really care about.”
I love that. I really think that bisexuals need to make an effort to view "gay issues" in that way, because it DOES have an effect on our lives as much as it does for gays and lesbians. I think some bi bashing comes from the idea that we sometimes blend into hetero society and don't seem very interested in issues like workplace or marriage equality. That's a shame for those that don't bother, and it sucks to be put in that category when you're bisexual and actually DO give a damn!
She also represents well for the bi community in the straight media, which is very hard for bisexuals in straight relationships. It's great to see somebody say what all the people in that situation think everyday, regardless of how people will perceive it.
“I’m someone who believes being bisexual is actually a thing,” she continues. “It’s not made up. It’s not a lack of decision. It’s not being greedy or numerous other ignorant things I’ve heard at this point. … For a bisexual, it’s not about gender. That’s not the deciding factor for who they’re attracted to"
Fang-tastic. (That was bad. Sorry.)
Saturday, June 2, 2012
Why Bisexuals Can't Win. (With guest appearance...by The L Word!)
So this is something that comes up a LOT when it comes to people who bat for both teams. There seems to be this weird phenomenon in the gay community about bisexuals who are in hetero relationships. Some gay men and lesbians take the stance of "well, they can choose to be straight or hide in hetero relationships, so they don't count as queer".
Obviously, the switch hitters don't like that. Especially when people like Cynthia Nixon (ew) back up that exact sentiment by saying that bisexuals do indeed choose to be gay or not. Things like that stir up a lot of hate, and with that hate comes dating reluctance and alienation. Apparently, there are a lot of lesbians who flat out refuse to date bi women because they have that notion that said women are "gross" or that the lesbian relationship that comes from a mixed orientation couple is probably just some "phase" or "a meaningless trip into alternative lifestyles". Kinda like this:
The crazy thing about that notion....it comes up in some sort of twisted funhouse mirror image in straight relationships too! Kinda like....this!
"Never being without a date on a Saturday night" just doesn't seem worth it, 99.9% of the time.
Obviously, the switch hitters don't like that. Especially when people like Cynthia Nixon (ew) back up that exact sentiment by saying that bisexuals do indeed choose to be gay or not. Things like that stir up a lot of hate, and with that hate comes dating reluctance and alienation. Apparently, there are a lot of lesbians who flat out refuse to date bi women because they have that notion that said women are "gross" or that the lesbian relationship that comes from a mixed orientation couple is probably just some "phase" or "a meaningless trip into alternative lifestyles". Kinda like this:
The crazy thing about that notion....it comes up in some sort of twisted funhouse mirror image in straight relationships too! Kinda like....this!
"Never being without a date on a Saturday night" just doesn't seem worth it, 99.9% of the time.
Friday, June 1, 2012
June is LGBT Pride Month!
Hey people!
So today is June 1st, and it's the start of Pride month. June is the month where all the big national Pride parades and conventions crop up. The one here in Philadelphia is in ten days, and that's always a hoot. I do have plans to go to it, and I will make sure I get some video and pictures to share.
I'm sure the people who've read this before or have been checking out the blog have have noticed that the way it looks is really, really different. One of the big issues that the bisexual community has going on with Pride is that we don't have a lot of presence at gay pride parades. Usually in Philly the only representation we get is Bi Unity . So...I want to put up this bi-inclusive rainbow because the bisexuals are the B in LGBT. We have our own thing, but it's part of something bigger. We're falling under the rainbow too.
This month there are a lot of movies and documentaries about LGBT topics available On Demand and on Netflix. Some pretty cool stuff. The one I'm catching today is called "Outrage", and it focuses on closeted gay politicians that publicly speak against equal rights for the gays. Hypocrisy and self-hate on parade!
So today is June 1st, and it's the start of Pride month. June is the month where all the big national Pride parades and conventions crop up. The one here in Philadelphia is in ten days, and that's always a hoot. I do have plans to go to it, and I will make sure I get some video and pictures to share.
I'm sure the people who've read this before or have been checking out the blog have have noticed that the way it looks is really, really different. One of the big issues that the bisexual community has going on with Pride is that we don't have a lot of presence at gay pride parades. Usually in Philly the only representation we get is Bi Unity . So...I want to put up this bi-inclusive rainbow because the bisexuals are the B in LGBT. We have our own thing, but it's part of something bigger. We're falling under the rainbow too.
This month there are a lot of movies and documentaries about LGBT topics available On Demand and on Netflix. Some pretty cool stuff. The one I'm catching today is called "Outrage", and it focuses on closeted gay politicians that publicly speak against equal rights for the gays. Hypocrisy and self-hate on parade!
Monday, May 28, 2012
An LGBT Perspective on Target and Company Boycotts.
I have a feeling this post is going to ruffle some feathers, but before I start getting the flame emails- hear me out. There seems to be this trend with the gay community about boycotting retailers and companies for not being LGBT-inclusive or for supporting organizations like National Organization for Marriage (NOM). The biggest pusher for this kind of action is usually the Human Rights Campaign (HRC), the largest and most financially affluent organization for gay rights in the United States. The HRC has a serious hard on for digging out corporate inequality, and every year they release a "Where to Work/Where to Shop" pamphlet that rates middle to large scale companies according to the companies' stances on domestic partner benefits and hiring practices.
I'm going to start off by saying that I support that to an extent. My big "gay issue" that I support full heartedly is workplace equality, and the "List" is a good jumping off point, even if it just makes people think about who they shop for.
But on the other part of their spectrum are the boycotts. Even in the last few years, it feels like the community is always boycotting at least five places any given day. Right now the "big fish" seem to be Target, Chik Fil A, and Hershey. I believe that one of these places does deserve to lose gay dollars, but the other two feel like grey areas to me. I am aware that Chik Fil A is marketed as (and in a way) ran as a "Christian/Family operation". They are closed on Sundays for the Christian Sabbath, and they do use a lot of religious references and support a lot of conservative religious groups. They also have a history of financially backing extreme anti-gay groups like NOM. It bothers me because they use direct profits (meaning, coming directly from customer profits) to fuel the donations to these groups. I feel that if I'm going to pay money for a product, the owners and CEOs should not be using literally the dimes from MY pocket to fund hateful organizations. Plus it bothers me as an LGBT Catholic that a massive company would hide behind faith to fuel hatred. That, in my mind, is no better than the Westboro Baptist Idiots. Although the grilled chicken and waffle fries are delicious....I have joined that ship to not give LGBT/Ally money until the funding situation is changed.
Hershey is apparently being boycotted now for funding a school that terminated a student's inclusion in the school because he is HIV-positive. Although I do think that it's ignorant, I don't think that a boycott of the mostly unaffiliated company is going to do much to solve that situation. I think claims such as the one on the back of this week's Philadelphia Gay News stating that "Hershey is UnAmerican" are not only misleading, but not correctly stated. I understand the concept of "putting pressure on the financial backer to make a statement/pull their funding", but I don't think that's the right way to deal with this issue. I will not back this boycott because I feel it's ineffective. This issue should really be a direct issue WITH the school, not using the backer as a way to call attention to the problem.
Then comes the boycott of Target. Ohhh boy, what a grey area this one is. A few years ago, the CEO of Target donated money to an anti-gay group who supported a very bigoted politician , and the HRC had a field day. Keep in mind that as far as domestic partner benefits and hiring practices go, Target had a pretty clean slate for a very long time. Many of the companies and designers that Target works with as partners are LGBT run or Ally companies, too. Since that funding mistake, and I do believe that it was something that wasn't even considered (not that that's good...) the HRC has NEVER let it go. Target's hiring practices, benefits contracts, and corporate partner situations have hardly changed. This year, even after seeing the backlash at Old Navy for releasing similar merchandise, Target has gone full speed ahead and has been unapologetic about manufacturing and selling Pride clothing, where part of the proceeds go to a pro LGBT family organization. Now some people at the HRC and in the community are saying this is a gimmick to reel in some of the lost gay dollars. Maybe. But I will say that in my eyes, years of a solid record of support regarding workplace equality FAR OUTWEIGH one nasty misstep. Let the flaming begin...
Funnily enough, last summer I had an interview at a gay owned-gay run retailer on South Street. (I chose not to disclose my orientation, which I never do in interviews, regardless of WHO I'm interviewing for. It shouldn't matter. Anyway...) The topic of Target came up, and I expressly said that I continued to do business there. Before I could go into my logic, as this was a very casual conversation/interview, I was greeted with a sort of nasty, "shut down" kind of response, and I knew before the chat was over that I'd been passed up for the position. (Side note, when I was at last year's OutFest, I made it a point to stop by the guy's booth, wearing my bracelet and with my tattoo clearly visible. He looked shocked. He had that "oh MAN I feel like an ass" thing going on. Funny how making ASSumptions causes that look, eh?)
But on the other part of their spectrum are the boycotts. Even in the last few years, it feels like the community is always boycotting at least five places any given day. Right now the "big fish" seem to be Target, Chik Fil A, and Hershey. I believe that one of these places does deserve to lose gay dollars, but the other two feel like grey areas to me. I am aware that Chik Fil A is marketed as (and in a way) ran as a "Christian/Family operation". They are closed on Sundays for the Christian Sabbath, and they do use a lot of religious references and support a lot of conservative religious groups. They also have a history of financially backing extreme anti-gay groups like NOM. It bothers me because they use direct profits (meaning, coming directly from customer profits) to fuel the donations to these groups. I feel that if I'm going to pay money for a product, the owners and CEOs should not be using literally the dimes from MY pocket to fund hateful organizations. Plus it bothers me as an LGBT Catholic that a massive company would hide behind faith to fuel hatred. That, in my mind, is no better than the Westboro Baptist Idiots. Although the grilled chicken and waffle fries are delicious....I have joined that ship to not give LGBT/Ally money until the funding situation is changed.
Hershey is apparently being boycotted now for funding a school that terminated a student's inclusion in the school because he is HIV-positive. Although I do think that it's ignorant, I don't think that a boycott of the mostly unaffiliated company is going to do much to solve that situation. I think claims such as the one on the back of this week's Philadelphia Gay News stating that "Hershey is UnAmerican" are not only misleading, but not correctly stated. I understand the concept of "putting pressure on the financial backer to make a statement/pull their funding", but I don't think that's the right way to deal with this issue. I will not back this boycott because I feel it's ineffective. This issue should really be a direct issue WITH the school, not using the backer as a way to call attention to the problem.
Then comes the boycott of Target. Ohhh boy, what a grey area this one is. A few years ago, the CEO of Target donated money to an anti-gay group who supported a very bigoted politician , and the HRC had a field day. Keep in mind that as far as domestic partner benefits and hiring practices go, Target had a pretty clean slate for a very long time. Many of the companies and designers that Target works with as partners are LGBT run or Ally companies, too. Since that funding mistake, and I do believe that it was something that wasn't even considered (not that that's good...) the HRC has NEVER let it go. Target's hiring practices, benefits contracts, and corporate partner situations have hardly changed. This year, even after seeing the backlash at Old Navy for releasing similar merchandise, Target has gone full speed ahead and has been unapologetic about manufacturing and selling Pride clothing, where part of the proceeds go to a pro LGBT family organization. Now some people at the HRC and in the community are saying this is a gimmick to reel in some of the lost gay dollars. Maybe. But I will say that in my eyes, years of a solid record of support regarding workplace equality FAR OUTWEIGH one nasty misstep. Let the flaming begin...
Funnily enough, last summer I had an interview at a gay owned-gay run retailer on South Street. (I chose not to disclose my orientation, which I never do in interviews, regardless of WHO I'm interviewing for. It shouldn't matter. Anyway...) The topic of Target came up, and I expressly said that I continued to do business there. Before I could go into my logic, as this was a very casual conversation/interview, I was greeted with a sort of nasty, "shut down" kind of response, and I knew before the chat was over that I'd been passed up for the position. (Side note, when I was at last year's OutFest, I made it a point to stop by the guy's booth, wearing my bracelet and with my tattoo clearly visible. He looked shocked. He had that "oh MAN I feel like an ass" thing going on. Funny how making ASSumptions causes that look, eh?)
Monday, May 21, 2012
DC Is Outing One of It's Characters!
Oh Mah Gawd!
DC Comics just announced that one of it's existing major characters is getting a rainbow re-write! They have a couple of them already, my favorite being Batwoman, but now the gay geek universe is buzzing about who it's going to be.
I'm going to hope it's one of the characters from my favorite comic in the whole wide world- Batman! My guesses are going to be Nightwing/Robin, Harley Quinn, Poision Ivy, or maybe even the Joker. I could sort of see Alfred too.
Can't wait!
But in the meantime....here's a tidbit from the wonderful world of youtube!
(And this is in Arkham City, a special voicemail left for Batsy! awww)
Okay...I think I'm done now...
(And this is in Arkham City, a special voicemail left for Batsy! awww)
Okay...I think I'm done now...
Thursday, May 17, 2012
Disco Queens are Weeping.
So I'm going to start this post with a little bit of a nod to a much-disputed gay icon who's recently passed away. Donna Summer was part of the disco culture, which was a safe haven for so many in the gay community back in the 1970s. She was also an inspiration for many drag queens, past and present, with her big hair and flamboyant outfits. She even made the switch hitters of the time with a certain line in one of her hits, haha.
Donna alleged made some not so fabulous comments about the gays and AIDS that some people still hold her to. Others claim it never happened. But even if she did make one of those 'God is punishing you' comments, her impact on the drag community and disco queens is undeniable.
I have a personal story somewhat sort of connected here too, crazy enough. (Apart from my mom and uncle being into disco during that scene.)A little over a year ago I was working in the gayest produce department in a grocery store ever...and THIS jam constantly blared through the speakers in the meat room. It was a big, meaty, gay hell. Complete with homophobic pineapples.
I have a personal story somewhat sort of connected here too, crazy enough. (Apart from my mom and uncle being into disco during that scene.)A little over a year ago I was working in the gayest produce department in a grocery store ever...and THIS jam constantly blared through the speakers in the meat room. It was a big, meaty, gay hell. Complete with homophobic pineapples.
Saturday, May 12, 2012
Futch and the Swimsuit from Hell
I love certain things about summer. The sun being out, Pride events, funnel cakes, and especially beach trips. But there's one thing that I dread- swimsuit shopping.
I don't think the majority of women like swimsuit shopping. Things can look really great on a model or on the rack (no pun intended), and they when a chick tries something on it gives her the urge to slap on a mumu and dig into a huge bowl of brownie batter because it's so depressing. No matter how femme-y and hot a girl is she is guaranteed to go through this hell at least once a year. It sucks.
When you're a girl who's not so in your face feminine, the problem gets even more frustrating. Not everyone with a uterus wants to look like a Victoria's Secret model, believe it or not. This article delves into the conundrum of shopping for this hell piece when chicks are butch, but then there's the interesting type who's neither here nor there. What if ruffled bikinis make you want to barf, but the idea of a granny suit under swim trunks isn't any better?
Blah.
Where's that brownie batter?
I don't think the majority of women like swimsuit shopping. Things can look really great on a model or on the rack (no pun intended), and they when a chick tries something on it gives her the urge to slap on a mumu and dig into a huge bowl of brownie batter because it's so depressing. No matter how femme-y and hot a girl is she is guaranteed to go through this hell at least once a year. It sucks.
When you're a girl who's not so in your face feminine, the problem gets even more frustrating. Not everyone with a uterus wants to look like a Victoria's Secret model, believe it or not. This article delves into the conundrum of shopping for this hell piece when chicks are butch, but then there's the interesting type who's neither here nor there. What if ruffled bikinis make you want to barf, but the idea of a granny suit under swim trunks isn't any better?
Blah.
Where's that brownie batter?
Thursday, May 10, 2012
Barack Obama is the First President to Back Gay Marriage
For some reason I'm not as happy about this as I was about Biden's support. I think it's because Biden's comments really did seem a lot more genuine than what the POTUS said. I don't think this was an "election year" statement, because by saying he supports same-sex marriage he runs the risk of losing as many votes as he'll gain. I think this was more "Well Joe said something, I've been skirting the issue, it's going to look bad if I don't say anything at all".
Either way, for the LGBT Americans who wish to be married, and the allies who take this up as a flagship issue, this is probably good news.
Either way, for the LGBT Americans who wish to be married, and the allies who take this up as a flagship issue, this is probably good news.
Monday, May 7, 2012
It's been a while, but I'm back with some surprising news!
I know it's been a while, but life had me on my toes for the last couple of weeks. I finally got that ridiculously hard paper finished, and God only knows if I passed my other course. Work was a little wild last month too, so that didn't leave a lot of room in my day to check in here. Things have gotten a little bit more controllable now, so I'll probably be back for a while.
There have been a lot of crazy events in the land of the switchhitters lately. The first thing I want on the agenda is really not something I'm happy to hear. The site that launched the "I Am Visible" campaign is shutting down. "I Am Visible" was a great initiative to fight biphobia and erasure, it just never really took off as well as say, The Trevor Project did. The site was an incredible resource for the bisexual community and I truly am sad to see it go. You can still check it out at: Bi Social Network...signing off :(
Speaking of campaigns with great messages that I'd love to see take off, You Can Play seems to be going somewhere! This awesome interview appeared in Philly Gay News not too long ago, and I actually got the chance to chat with Patrick Burke, You Can Play founder and scout for the Flyers, about a possible YCP appearance at June's PhillyPride or possibly Outfest! in October. Burke was at Equality Forum over the weekend, so hopefully the schedule will allow for some YCP at our pride events! The online shop that carries merch to raise awareness of the initiative should be open right in time for Pride month, around June first.
And one more piece before I sign off for the day, Vice-President Joe Biden has come out in support of gay unions! I ran across this on CatholicsForEquality's Twitter feed, but now his comments have gone viral and can be found all over the place.
"I am absolutely comfortable with the fact that men marrying men, women marrying women, and heterosexual men and women marrying another are entitled to the same exact rights, all the civil rights, all the civil liberties,and quite frankly, I don't see much of a distinction beyond that. The good news is that as more and more Americans become to understand what this is all about is a simple proposition," he said. "Who do you love? Who do you love? And will you be loyal to the person you love? And that's what people are finding out is what -- what all marriages, at their root, are about." -Joe Biden on Meet The Press, April 6th 2012
This is actually pretty great news for the LGBT Catholic/Episcopalian community, because Biden is the highest ranking Catholic in the United States political system. This is a great merging of faith and morality that's so, so positive for progress on civil unions/gay marriage in this country. It may be words but they're strong words. Stronger even than President Barack Obama has ever offered on the issue. A huge step forward with just a few sentences.
There have been a lot of crazy events in the land of the switchhitters lately. The first thing I want on the agenda is really not something I'm happy to hear. The site that launched the "I Am Visible" campaign is shutting down. "I Am Visible" was a great initiative to fight biphobia and erasure, it just never really took off as well as say, The Trevor Project did. The site was an incredible resource for the bisexual community and I truly am sad to see it go. You can still check it out at: Bi Social Network...signing off :(
Speaking of campaigns with great messages that I'd love to see take off, You Can Play seems to be going somewhere! This awesome interview appeared in Philly Gay News not too long ago, and I actually got the chance to chat with Patrick Burke, You Can Play founder and scout for the Flyers, about a possible YCP appearance at June's PhillyPride or possibly Outfest! in October. Burke was at Equality Forum over the weekend, so hopefully the schedule will allow for some YCP at our pride events! The online shop that carries merch to raise awareness of the initiative should be open right in time for Pride month, around June first.
And one more piece before I sign off for the day, Vice-President Joe Biden has come out in support of gay unions! I ran across this on CatholicsForEquality's Twitter feed, but now his comments have gone viral and can be found all over the place.
"I am absolutely comfortable with the fact that men marrying men, women marrying women, and heterosexual men and women marrying another are entitled to the same exact rights, all the civil rights, all the civil liberties,and quite frankly, I don't see much of a distinction beyond that. The good news is that as more and more Americans become to understand what this is all about is a simple proposition," he said. "Who do you love? Who do you love? And will you be loyal to the person you love? And that's what people are finding out is what -- what all marriages, at their root, are about." -Joe Biden on Meet The Press, April 6th 2012
This is actually pretty great news for the LGBT Catholic/Episcopalian community, because Biden is the highest ranking Catholic in the United States political system. This is a great merging of faith and morality that's so, so positive for progress on civil unions/gay marriage in this country. It may be words but they're strong words. Stronger even than President Barack Obama has ever offered on the issue. A huge step forward with just a few sentences.
Monday, April 16, 2012
How Do You Mix Being Bisexual and Butch Without Getting Rejected?
Good (freakishly early in my book) morning, people!
Before I even get started on today's bisexual rant, I have to get this out of the way. OH MY GOD, FLYERS. That...in my expert opinion, was an ass whoopin'! Fluery looked like he was going to cry when the Pens took him out of the net. Watching like four line fights bust out was awesome, especially when Claude Giroux went and fought Cindy Crosby. That was beautiful. Hartnell's "you pulled my hair, bitch!" was legendary. I love the NHL. Okay, sorry. I had to butch out there because I'm still elated from yesterday.
Speaking of butching out, I read this great one shot this morning about being bisexual and presenting as what's called a "soft butch". For my het friends that read this, let me explain what that means. In the gay community, but especially when you're talking about bisexual and lesbian women, there are a trillion labels and "types" of gay. Now some people are of the variety that disregard those terms completely, but I'm not one of them. A "soft butch" is pretty much a gay girl who physically or in her mannerisms come off as a little masculne. Someone like the chick who wrote this article, even someone like Kat von D from LA Ink (if she turned out to be gay ...wish) could be included in the "soft butch" spectrum in their own ways.
In reading this piece that I'm talking about, I got to thinking a lot about how twisted up some people would get about a bisexual woman who presented as more on the butch side. The author makes a really interesting point towards the end of her piece about how bisexual women have turned her down before, because they didn't "see the point" of a butch fencesitter. I understand that completely, and I've had the same thought, even though I'm rather "futch" myself. Guilty as charged.
(Not really butch, but not really frilly little femme either. Probably a chapstick lesbian somewhere in there, haha!)
In her case, I can't help but wonder if that experience would be different if she were a lesbian. It doesn't seem like bisexuals get a fair shake at being anything than "hetero passive" these days. Looking like you could pass for straight is pretty much accepted (and hated) when it comes to bisexuals. Deviating from that exterior usually causes some stir, at least from what I've witnessed.
The other thing that kind of clicked in my head when I read this was how drastically different some bi people can be when they're in opposite-sex and same-sex relationships. I know at least for me, I do a total 180 in my behavior depending on who I'm with. When I'm with another chick, I'm usually the more butch of the pair. The dominant part of my personality comes out, and even the way I talk has more of a masculine ring to it. But if I'm in a hetero relationship, the exact opposite happens. I don't think about it, it just sort of does it on its own. It's almost like a subconscious shift.
As far as rejection based on those behaviors or "butch traits" goes, I think I've really gotten that more from men than I have from women. I don't know if it's intimidating, or if some of the guys I've run across swear that one day I'm going to say I'm gay and that's it (hey biphobia, how ya doin...) or what. I wonder if it's a subconscious thing relating to sexuality and perception in the public sometimes, you know, like "she's so masculine, I wonder if he's really gay and in denial". It would be narrow minded, but I could see that thought process.
I know there's that old crack on bisexuals never being alone on a Saturday night, or that we double our chances. But in reality, the game of rejection and attraction gets so much more complicated once you start batting for both teams.
Before I even get started on today's bisexual rant, I have to get this out of the way. OH MY GOD, FLYERS. That...in my expert opinion, was an ass whoopin'! Fluery looked like he was going to cry when the Pens took him out of the net. Watching like four line fights bust out was awesome, especially when Claude Giroux went and fought Cindy Crosby. That was beautiful. Hartnell's "you pulled my hair, bitch!" was legendary. I love the NHL. Okay, sorry. I had to butch out there because I'm still elated from yesterday.
Speaking of butching out, I read this great one shot this morning about being bisexual and presenting as what's called a "soft butch". For my het friends that read this, let me explain what that means. In the gay community, but especially when you're talking about bisexual and lesbian women, there are a trillion labels and "types" of gay. Now some people are of the variety that disregard those terms completely, but I'm not one of them. A "soft butch" is pretty much a gay girl who physically or in her mannerisms come off as a little masculne. Someone like the chick who wrote this article, even someone like Kat von D from LA Ink (if she turned out to be gay ...wish) could be included in the "soft butch" spectrum in their own ways.
In reading this piece that I'm talking about, I got to thinking a lot about how twisted up some people would get about a bisexual woman who presented as more on the butch side. The author makes a really interesting point towards the end of her piece about how bisexual women have turned her down before, because they didn't "see the point" of a butch fencesitter. I understand that completely, and I've had the same thought, even though I'm rather "futch" myself. Guilty as charged.
(Not really butch, but not really frilly little femme either. Probably a chapstick lesbian somewhere in there, haha!)
In her case, I can't help but wonder if that experience would be different if she were a lesbian. It doesn't seem like bisexuals get a fair shake at being anything than "hetero passive" these days. Looking like you could pass for straight is pretty much accepted (and hated) when it comes to bisexuals. Deviating from that exterior usually causes some stir, at least from what I've witnessed.
The other thing that kind of clicked in my head when I read this was how drastically different some bi people can be when they're in opposite-sex and same-sex relationships. I know at least for me, I do a total 180 in my behavior depending on who I'm with. When I'm with another chick, I'm usually the more butch of the pair. The dominant part of my personality comes out, and even the way I talk has more of a masculine ring to it. But if I'm in a hetero relationship, the exact opposite happens. I don't think about it, it just sort of does it on its own. It's almost like a subconscious shift.
As far as rejection based on those behaviors or "butch traits" goes, I think I've really gotten that more from men than I have from women. I don't know if it's intimidating, or if some of the guys I've run across swear that one day I'm going to say I'm gay and that's it (hey biphobia, how ya doin...) or what. I wonder if it's a subconscious thing relating to sexuality and perception in the public sometimes, you know, like "she's so masculine, I wonder if he's really gay and in denial". It would be narrow minded, but I could see that thought process.
I know there's that old crack on bisexuals never being alone on a Saturday night, or that we double our chances. But in reality, the game of rejection and attraction gets so much more complicated once you start batting for both teams.
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
Supercreep is Gone (for now.)
Good Morning everybody!
Oh Happy Day, Supercreep is no longer a possible President. At least, not this time. The Advocate ran a story saying that he might be back in 2016. I don't want him back. I'm pretty sure no LGBT person, sane Catholic, or sane person for that matter would want to see the possibility of that assclown running the free world. So for right now, we will celebrate!
It looks like it's going to be Romney against Obama for the presidency. Looks like I'll be supporting Barack again. Namely because I think Mitt Romney isn't what this country needs as a leader. Not at this time, and maybe not ever. I'm not really a "ra ra Obama" type, but considering the cesspool that this place was when he took office it's pretty astounding that we're not swirling around the bowl right now. I know that the HRC and a lot of people in the gay community aren't happy with Obama because of how the fight for marriage equality is going. That isn't my flagship issue, so it's not a dealbreaker for me. Also, progress has been made- that would have been unthinkable at Stonewall, back in the start of this fight. Repealing Don't Ask Don't Tell was a bigger issue for me than gay marriage (let the flaming emails begin...) so 'Bama gets some points from this chick.
Enough of that for one day, eh?
It pleases my little heart to say that Saturday Night Live is now a little more gay. Kate McKinnon (the really adorable short haired blonde from the "Lesbian Cliche Song" video) has become the first openly lesbian comic on SNL. ;)
She's in this with Sophia Vergara! And the dude who's playing the show host looks a lot like my ex....O_O
Oh Happy Day, Supercreep is no longer a possible President. At least, not this time. The Advocate ran a story saying that he might be back in 2016. I don't want him back. I'm pretty sure no LGBT person, sane Catholic, or sane person for that matter would want to see the possibility of that assclown running the free world. So for right now, we will celebrate!
It looks like it's going to be Romney against Obama for the presidency. Looks like I'll be supporting Barack again. Namely because I think Mitt Romney isn't what this country needs as a leader. Not at this time, and maybe not ever. I'm not really a "ra ra Obama" type, but considering the cesspool that this place was when he took office it's pretty astounding that we're not swirling around the bowl right now. I know that the HRC and a lot of people in the gay community aren't happy with Obama because of how the fight for marriage equality is going. That isn't my flagship issue, so it's not a dealbreaker for me. Also, progress has been made- that would have been unthinkable at Stonewall, back in the start of this fight. Repealing Don't Ask Don't Tell was a bigger issue for me than gay marriage (let the flaming emails begin...) so 'Bama gets some points from this chick.
Enough of that for one day, eh?
It pleases my little heart to say that Saturday Night Live is now a little more gay. Kate McKinnon (the really adorable short haired blonde from the "Lesbian Cliche Song" video) has become the first openly lesbian comic on SNL. ;)
She's in this with Sophia Vergara! And the dude who's playing the show host looks a lot like my ex....O_O
Sunday, April 8, 2012
Easter!
Happy Easter everybody.
I went to mass this morning and that was really good. I always like the positive, hopeful feel of this holiday.
Spending the evening having dinner at home with my partner. We'll probably be too stuffed with pasta, cannoli, and ricotta pie to move in a couple hours. :D
I went to mass this morning and that was really good. I always like the positive, hopeful feel of this holiday.
Spending the evening having dinner at home with my partner. We'll probably be too stuffed with pasta, cannoli, and ricotta pie to move in a couple hours. :D
Saturday, March 31, 2012
Thursday, March 29, 2012
The Dumbest Thing I've Seen in Weeks.
The sheer stupidity and sad attempts at scare tactics really make this video painful to watch.
1) "In a land where Obama is reelected..." there will apparently be children missing a Chuck and the streets will be a ghost town.
2) "Small businesses are struggling..." Yep, that would happen no matter who was in office at this point. Decades of an economy on the verge of breakdown will do that, you know.
3) "Families are worried about their jobs..." Yep, because Obama is the cause of the shitty economic state, high unemployment rates, and factory/corporate outsourcing.
4) "The wait to see a doctor is ever-increasing..." Well when such a mass amount of people can't afford health insurance and the population is both aging and growing at the same time, that's going to happen. Obama didn't cause our grandparents to fuck so much that they had too many kids. And I couldn't afford insurance before he even ran for office...
5) "Gas prices will be through the roof..." Did ya'll not notice the climb started (this time) during the Bush Administration?
6) "Freedom of religion under attack..." How is promoting religious freedom for other groups attacking the freedom for Christians to practice? As a Catholic, I'm not threatened by Amad down the street going to mosque or Hershel going to synagogue. If a person is that shaken by other faiths, maybe they need to do some soul searching to see if their own faith is weak. This nation is not "a Christian nation"...our founding fathers and people of the American Revolution were from all walks. We had atheists, agnostics, Christians, Jews...it goes on and on. The idea of "In God We Trust" being on coins and such is NOT a defense for the idea of "the nation was founded on [blank] faith", because those coins were minted that way LONG after the country was founded.
7) "And every day, the residents of this town worry about a sworn American enemy having nuclear arms..." Yep...because if Iran chooses to attack the States, all the old, scared white folks in East Bumblefuck are the FIRST to go. Anyway, there's a lot of debate on whether or not that threat is even valid to the States. It's a bigger deal for Israel than it is for us...and we are not Israel. (Somebody should tell D.C. that at some point but that's another story.)
I really hope Rick Santorum doesn't get elected, because it would prove the point that Americans have gotten dumber as of late. Stereotypes! Based on fact?!
1) "In a land where Obama is reelected..." there will apparently be children missing a Chuck and the streets will be a ghost town.
2) "Small businesses are struggling..." Yep, that would happen no matter who was in office at this point. Decades of an economy on the verge of breakdown will do that, you know.
3) "Families are worried about their jobs..." Yep, because Obama is the cause of the shitty economic state, high unemployment rates, and factory/corporate outsourcing.
4) "The wait to see a doctor is ever-increasing..." Well when such a mass amount of people can't afford health insurance and the population is both aging and growing at the same time, that's going to happen. Obama didn't cause our grandparents to fuck so much that they had too many kids. And I couldn't afford insurance before he even ran for office...
5) "Gas prices will be through the roof..." Did ya'll not notice the climb started (this time) during the Bush Administration?
6) "Freedom of religion under attack..." How is promoting religious freedom for other groups attacking the freedom for Christians to practice? As a Catholic, I'm not threatened by Amad down the street going to mosque or Hershel going to synagogue. If a person is that shaken by other faiths, maybe they need to do some soul searching to see if their own faith is weak. This nation is not "a Christian nation"...our founding fathers and people of the American Revolution were from all walks. We had atheists, agnostics, Christians, Jews...it goes on and on. The idea of "In God We Trust" being on coins and such is NOT a defense for the idea of "the nation was founded on [blank] faith", because those coins were minted that way LONG after the country was founded.
7) "And every day, the residents of this town worry about a sworn American enemy having nuclear arms..." Yep...because if Iran chooses to attack the States, all the old, scared white folks in East Bumblefuck are the FIRST to go. Anyway, there's a lot of debate on whether or not that threat is even valid to the States. It's a bigger deal for Israel than it is for us...and we are not Israel. (Somebody should tell D.C. that at some point but that's another story.)
I really hope Rick Santorum doesn't get elected, because it would prove the point that Americans have gotten dumber as of late. Stereotypes! Based on fact?!
Saturday, March 24, 2012
Starbucks versus NOM...you've got to be kidding me.
Good Morning people!
This morning is one of those mornings where I feel like I'm going to need a lot of coffee. Last night, I ended up hanging out after work and it kind of turned into a long night, so by the end of the day today, you'll probably be able to tap my blood and drink it with cream.
Speaking of coffee, I came across an interesting piece on Yahoo! Pride this morning about a completely moronic attack by NOM on a very popular and slightly overpriced coffee chain. Starbucks coffee (as a corporation) has had a very long history of supporting employment and benefits coverage-equality for LGBT people. They've also had a lot of presence at kiosks and such for pride events in virtually every major city in the US. National Organization for Marriage (which is already disreputable on its own) is claiming that those statements made for the gay community by Starbucks are wrong and that the company supports the "gay agenda", so they're screaming boycott. They've also went ahead and gave a list of other places that supporters of their cause can go to get coffee with a side of homophobia. The only problem is...quite a few "alternative options" on the list are also LGBT-inclusive and include gay corporate members.
All aboard the Fail Boat, NOM!
Not to perpetuate stereotypes, but come on...gays have been running, owning, and operating coffee shops for decades. There's almost always a wealth of various rainbow flyers in places like Starbucks.
I think this lovely clip from True Blood explains the idea behind why ridiculous boycotts like these are completely pointless:
This morning is one of those mornings where I feel like I'm going to need a lot of coffee. Last night, I ended up hanging out after work and it kind of turned into a long night, so by the end of the day today, you'll probably be able to tap my blood and drink it with cream.
Speaking of coffee, I came across an interesting piece on Yahoo! Pride this morning about a completely moronic attack by NOM on a very popular and slightly overpriced coffee chain. Starbucks coffee (as a corporation) has had a very long history of supporting employment and benefits coverage-equality for LGBT people. They've also had a lot of presence at kiosks and such for pride events in virtually every major city in the US. National Organization for Marriage (which is already disreputable on its own) is claiming that those statements made for the gay community by Starbucks are wrong and that the company supports the "gay agenda", so they're screaming boycott. They've also went ahead and gave a list of other places that supporters of their cause can go to get coffee with a side of homophobia. The only problem is...quite a few "alternative options" on the list are also LGBT-inclusive and include gay corporate members.
All aboard the Fail Boat, NOM!
Not to perpetuate stereotypes, but come on...gays have been running, owning, and operating coffee shops for decades. There's almost always a wealth of various rainbow flyers in places like Starbucks.
I think this lovely clip from True Blood explains the idea behind why ridiculous boycotts like these are completely pointless:
Thursday, March 22, 2012
Cherry Pie.
Today is going to be a long day. It's three in the morning, and I'm wide awake. Edgy, because of a death in my immediate family last night. It wasn't an unexpected death, but it's a jarring one for me. My grandfather was 89 years old, and physically he just gave out. He'd been fighting the inevitable for almost a year, it'd been a slow decline up until last week or so.
Yesterday I was walking down South Street when I got the feeling like something wasn't right. It bugged me all through class, and sure enough, when I left CCP there was a message from my aunt. I went from class right up into Bustleton to go see my aunts and my grandmother, who's still very much in shock. She spent 54 years with this man, and now he's gone.
I have a real issue when it comes to people I'm close to passing because although I have emotional ties to those people, I also have a very serious clinical phobia of cadavers/dead folks. It's been that way since I was a little kid. I can't deal with hospitals or funeral homes because of it, and when someone in my life passes, that phobic reaction is still intact. It's hard enough for me to be in the same building as the body, let alone see it. I also would really rather not have the memory of that sight. You don't gain anything by seeing a corpse, except maybe mental scarring. I chose not to see that because there's other things I'd really rather remember than someone being at their worst.
I just saw this man up and talking two weeks ago. He asked me how I was doing with speaking/writing in German, and if I still had his Schiller book and his dictionary. (I do, but for the life of me can't remember where they are right now.) He told me stories about when he was working, working with people who didn't speak English. After he'd retreated back to his bedroom, he continued to listen to the conversations taking place in the dining room. I was talking to my aunt and grandmother about how my loan money is being divided and what I intend to do to get out of my rut. He told my aunt to tell me that he thought my idea was pretty sound and that I "have a good head on my shoulders".
About two weeks before that, I'd had dinner with him at the house. He was tearing up a cheesesteak and telling me about how milk is gross so he ate his cereal with fruit juice. I laughed at that because I also find milk to be disgusting on most occasions. (Weirdly enough, it's one of those things that went from my grandfather to my father to me.) We had a laugh over the idea that we both hate ketchup once it's been in the fridge, too.
Right after my birthday back in January, I went to go visit him. We all ended up at the table, eating cherry pie and talking about Johnny Cash. Apparently he was the original monster-movie fan too. He saw Dracula and Frankenstein in theaters during his day, and showed them to my dad when my father was a kid. My father showed them to me...and a new generation of dork was born.
For all it's worth, he lived a long and full life. He was almost 90 years old, a World War 2 veteran, seven kids, and countless grandchildren. It still sucks, because now that house is going to feel immensely empty to me and everyone else, but when it's time it's just time. And it was obvious that the time was coming up on him. If there was one thing I could say, and I'm sure he knows it, it's "thank you". This is the man that gave me my culture, and so many of my weird quirks. I'm going to miss him.
Taken just a month and a half ago.
Yesterday I was walking down South Street when I got the feeling like something wasn't right. It bugged me all through class, and sure enough, when I left CCP there was a message from my aunt. I went from class right up into Bustleton to go see my aunts and my grandmother, who's still very much in shock. She spent 54 years with this man, and now he's gone.
I have a real issue when it comes to people I'm close to passing because although I have emotional ties to those people, I also have a very serious clinical phobia of cadavers/dead folks. It's been that way since I was a little kid. I can't deal with hospitals or funeral homes because of it, and when someone in my life passes, that phobic reaction is still intact. It's hard enough for me to be in the same building as the body, let alone see it. I also would really rather not have the memory of that sight. You don't gain anything by seeing a corpse, except maybe mental scarring. I chose not to see that because there's other things I'd really rather remember than someone being at their worst.
I just saw this man up and talking two weeks ago. He asked me how I was doing with speaking/writing in German, and if I still had his Schiller book and his dictionary. (I do, but for the life of me can't remember where they are right now.) He told me stories about when he was working, working with people who didn't speak English. After he'd retreated back to his bedroom, he continued to listen to the conversations taking place in the dining room. I was talking to my aunt and grandmother about how my loan money is being divided and what I intend to do to get out of my rut. He told my aunt to tell me that he thought my idea was pretty sound and that I "have a good head on my shoulders".
About two weeks before that, I'd had dinner with him at the house. He was tearing up a cheesesteak and telling me about how milk is gross so he ate his cereal with fruit juice. I laughed at that because I also find milk to be disgusting on most occasions. (Weirdly enough, it's one of those things that went from my grandfather to my father to me.) We had a laugh over the idea that we both hate ketchup once it's been in the fridge, too.
Right after my birthday back in January, I went to go visit him. We all ended up at the table, eating cherry pie and talking about Johnny Cash. Apparently he was the original monster-movie fan too. He saw Dracula and Frankenstein in theaters during his day, and showed them to my dad when my father was a kid. My father showed them to me...and a new generation of dork was born.
For all it's worth, he lived a long and full life. He was almost 90 years old, a World War 2 veteran, seven kids, and countless grandchildren. It still sucks, because now that house is going to feel immensely empty to me and everyone else, but when it's time it's just time. And it was obvious that the time was coming up on him. If there was one thing I could say, and I'm sure he knows it, it's "thank you". This is the man that gave me my culture, and so many of my weird quirks. I'm going to miss him.
Monday, March 19, 2012
Men versus Women, from the Middle of the Road.
I just do not understand women sometimes.
They always seem to straddle the line between unreadable and intimidating. Rare is it that you ever find a girl who actually says what she means and means what she says. When it comes to relationships, I swear there should be some sort of key to how to read their crap. I hate how, as a potential mate, you're just supposed to be a damn mind reader and pick up on their ridiculously subtle hints and mind games to make a move. Then there's always the thought of "Is she into me or is she just being nice"? It's really frustrating and confusing! If she's not digging you, and you take a shot, you look creepy. But if she IS into and you do nothing, she'll hate your guts. Where is the sanity in that?
Then there's the catty b/s. I do not understand what this chick-on-chick irrational hate is about. The guys here won't get this- but the women know exactly what I mean. So many times, a girl will walk into a situation that's mostly full of other women, and immediately- the judgment starts. Then these other chicks are speaking to the new girl with *that* tone, and looking like dog shit's just crawled up their nostrils. It's amazingly angering and intimidating at once. It's so high school. It's amazing how many women never grow out of that mindset.
Some days I swear, I thank God that men are still an option for me.
I'm not saying that the males of our species are easy to read, because they're not. More than enough times I've been typical enough to try and figure out what's going on with exes, friends, or whatever else. I don't always get what goes on in their heads. But the thing that makes them easier to deal with than women is that they're easy enough to get a straight answer from. Or, if they actually mean something, they'll just come out and say it in their own way. I love that.
I wish they could have the listening range that women do, but some days...boring hetero relationships are just easier and cozy compared to the insane world of women.
IN OTHER NEWS!
Another gay day for the NHL! I'm going to ignore the fact that one of these women is a Maple queefs fan so that I can get the warm fuzzies.
They always seem to straddle the line between unreadable and intimidating. Rare is it that you ever find a girl who actually says what she means and means what she says. When it comes to relationships, I swear there should be some sort of key to how to read their crap. I hate how, as a potential mate, you're just supposed to be a damn mind reader and pick up on their ridiculously subtle hints and mind games to make a move. Then there's always the thought of "Is she into me or is she just being nice"? It's really frustrating and confusing! If she's not digging you, and you take a shot, you look creepy. But if she IS into and you do nothing, she'll hate your guts. Where is the sanity in that?
Then there's the catty b/s. I do not understand what this chick-on-chick irrational hate is about. The guys here won't get this- but the women know exactly what I mean. So many times, a girl will walk into a situation that's mostly full of other women, and immediately- the judgment starts. Then these other chicks are speaking to the new girl with *that* tone, and looking like dog shit's just crawled up their nostrils. It's amazingly angering and intimidating at once. It's so high school. It's amazing how many women never grow out of that mindset.
Some days I swear, I thank God that men are still an option for me.
I'm not saying that the males of our species are easy to read, because they're not. More than enough times I've been typical enough to try and figure out what's going on with exes, friends, or whatever else. I don't always get what goes on in their heads. But the thing that makes them easier to deal with than women is that they're easy enough to get a straight answer from. Or, if they actually mean something, they'll just come out and say it in their own way. I love that.
I wish they could have the listening range that women do, but some days...boring hetero relationships are just easier and cozy compared to the insane world of women.
IN OTHER NEWS!
Another gay day for the NHL! I'm going to ignore the fact that one of these women is a Maple queefs fan so that I can get the warm fuzzies.
Sunday, March 18, 2012
emotional vomit season is here yet again.
you know what i really want right now?
a really good listener who could go drink for drink with me.
yeah.
that sounds about right.
a really good listener who could go drink for drink with me.
yeah.
that sounds about right.
Friday, March 16, 2012
Email Response! :)
Another crazy week has gone by, and for once, I'm in a "good riddance" kind of mood about it. Most of the time, the week containing March 13th is always a bad week for me anyway. I usually start getting emotional and having flashbacks about my mother's passing around that time, so I get a little edgy and scatterbrained. The one thing about experiencing that kind of loss in life is that it's not something you ever really get over. You just sort of learn how to deal with it, or how to ignore it until you can't anymore. Not easy, but functioning never really is, now is it?
I'm not having the best time on earth in class either and I'm getting that mid-way through the semester need to say damn it all to hell. I'm pretty sure this paper is sucking the joy out of writing for me.
I will say though that one of the neat things about writing this is the emails I get from it. The private messages have been really cool so far, so if you're one of those people: thank you! In one of those emails I got a request to do a "20 Things", and I realized I haven't written one of those in almost two years. So much has changed that I think my reader may be right about it being high time for a new one!
Baring my soul here...
1) I was born near the Juniata section of Philadelphia, and I've lived in the city most of my life.
2) I have very vivid dreams and nightmares. Sometimes I dissect them for meaning.
3) The first crush I ever remember having was Bruce Wayne from Batman. (Stop laughing!)
4) I think salmon pink is the second ugliest color on earth, next to mustard yellow.
5) On average, I hate bands that begin with the letter "p".
6) There are only two ways to sincerely piss me off: ignore me or talk down to me. God help you if you do these things. Because...
7) ...I have a temper issue and can turn from being very nice to you to being a nightmare real quick.
8) I have two really dreadful habits: I drink way too much coffee and cuss like a sailor.
9) I was raised mostly by my mother and my maternal grandparents. My father was around, I guess.
10) I am dreadfully allergic to tree pollen, especially right after it rains.
11) My favorite movie is Dracula (1931, Tod Browning/Bela Lugosi).
12) I love bats, and have always wanted to swim with Great White sharks.
13) My goal in life is to channel Lily Munster. (Seriously...it's sad.)
14) I have wanted a Doberman Pinscher since I was about six, and I will have one at some point.
15) When I was a little kid, I had a teddy bear...and a crow named "Crow". I still have him!
16) I have always loved Halloween- it's what drove me to both of my current employers.
17) I collect venetian masks. Right now I have six or so of them hanging up.
18) My favorite color is not black, as many assume it is. It's actually purple.
19) I love pickles. I have a pickle snack that grosses everyone out, but I crave: pickles and frosting!
20) My toenails are always painted, as are my other nails.
I'm not having the best time on earth in class either and I'm getting that mid-way through the semester need to say damn it all to hell. I'm pretty sure this paper is sucking the joy out of writing for me.
I will say though that one of the neat things about writing this is the emails I get from it. The private messages have been really cool so far, so if you're one of those people: thank you! In one of those emails I got a request to do a "20 Things", and I realized I haven't written one of those in almost two years. So much has changed that I think my reader may be right about it being high time for a new one!
Baring my soul here...
1) I was born near the Juniata section of Philadelphia, and I've lived in the city most of my life.
2) I have very vivid dreams and nightmares. Sometimes I dissect them for meaning.
3) The first crush I ever remember having was Bruce Wayne from Batman. (Stop laughing!)
4) I think salmon pink is the second ugliest color on earth, next to mustard yellow.
5) On average, I hate bands that begin with the letter "p".
6) There are only two ways to sincerely piss me off: ignore me or talk down to me. God help you if you do these things. Because...
7) ...I have a temper issue and can turn from being very nice to you to being a nightmare real quick.
8) I have two really dreadful habits: I drink way too much coffee and cuss like a sailor.
9) I was raised mostly by my mother and my maternal grandparents. My father was around, I guess.
10) I am dreadfully allergic to tree pollen, especially right after it rains.
11) My favorite movie is Dracula (1931, Tod Browning/Bela Lugosi).
12) I love bats, and have always wanted to swim with Great White sharks.
13) My goal in life is to channel Lily Munster. (Seriously...it's sad.)
14) I have wanted a Doberman Pinscher since I was about six, and I will have one at some point.
15) When I was a little kid, I had a teddy bear...and a crow named "Crow". I still have him!
16) I have always loved Halloween- it's what drove me to both of my current employers.
17) I collect venetian masks. Right now I have six or so of them hanging up.
18) My favorite color is not black, as many assume it is. It's actually purple.
19) I love pickles. I have a pickle snack that grosses everyone out, but I crave: pickles and frosting!
20) My toenails are always painted, as are my other nails.
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
60% and 15%? These numbers aren't the ones lying around here...
I've been told by a lot of my friends over time that on the butch-femme spectrum, I fall someplace in the middle. That is, not frilly and overly feminine, but not short haired and masculine either. Soft butch, futch, hard femme, whatever...there are way too many lesbian slang terms.
Anyway.
When I'm being particularly girly, waiting for my conditioner to finish doing its thing or whatever, I'll usually flip through something to pass the time. A couple days ago, my periodical of choice was this month's issue of Women's Health. In a tiny little clip, there was a really interesting statistic about women and bisexuality. Of the people used in the poll, 60% of the women admitted to being bicurious or acting on a female crush at some point in their lives. 15% of the men answered the same way.
That's a pretty drastic difference when it comes to percentages. The poll gave a perspective that women are usually more inclined to act on lesbian thoughts because of the way we're socially programmed from a young age. Women are raised with the idea that it's alright to be physically affectionate with friends, and in many cases Katy Perry-esque girl kisses are brushed off as a rite or passage or attention-seeking tactic that many young women use to gain male attention. This attitude is a pretty blatant hint to the idea that is repeated a lot in the gay community regarding prejudice: it is easier for women to be gay than it is for men.
I will admit that it seems like society, especially conservative society, is much more accepting of little Suzie having two moms than if she had two fathers. I guess that goes in some crazy cycle about the "friendships" of women and our supposed instincts to be nurturing and/or empathetic.
My boyfriend gave some input regarding the way social norms affect the results of this poll, saying that the way male society is, being bisexual would be very stigmatized. Apparently, there's supposed to be gay men and straight men, and that's it.
I've always gotten the feeling like being both male and bisexual must be a rough way to go of it. I would never know, obviously, but from an outside perspective it seems like there really is a lack of grey area for bi guys. It looks like gay men are expected to be gay, and straight men are expected to be hetero. The bisexuals probably get the short end of the stick, because they run the risk of not fitting into the expected ideals that male society has of gay men or the super-masculine image that straight guys usually are given. Not gay enough, not straight, but someplace in a crazy shade of lavender in between the worlds and perspective. Being a bisexual woman is probably more "acceptable" in the eyes of both female and general society, while the bi men disappear.
I have a gut feeling that the 15% of guys who answered that they've been/have had biscurious experiences is majorly understating the amount of fencesitters that probably answered overall. It sounds like such a stereotypically bi thing to say, but more of society in general is bisexual [to some extent] than is ever honestly recorded. Still, I maintain that that percentage given here was way off base from the truth. As usual.
Anyway.
When I'm being particularly girly, waiting for my conditioner to finish doing its thing or whatever, I'll usually flip through something to pass the time. A couple days ago, my periodical of choice was this month's issue of Women's Health. In a tiny little clip, there was a really interesting statistic about women and bisexuality. Of the people used in the poll, 60% of the women admitted to being bicurious or acting on a female crush at some point in their lives. 15% of the men answered the same way.
That's a pretty drastic difference when it comes to percentages. The poll gave a perspective that women are usually more inclined to act on lesbian thoughts because of the way we're socially programmed from a young age. Women are raised with the idea that it's alright to be physically affectionate with friends, and in many cases Katy Perry-esque girl kisses are brushed off as a rite or passage or attention-seeking tactic that many young women use to gain male attention. This attitude is a pretty blatant hint to the idea that is repeated a lot in the gay community regarding prejudice: it is easier for women to be gay than it is for men.
I will admit that it seems like society, especially conservative society, is much more accepting of little Suzie having two moms than if she had two fathers. I guess that goes in some crazy cycle about the "friendships" of women and our supposed instincts to be nurturing and/or empathetic.
My boyfriend gave some input regarding the way social norms affect the results of this poll, saying that the way male society is, being bisexual would be very stigmatized. Apparently, there's supposed to be gay men and straight men, and that's it.
I've always gotten the feeling like being both male and bisexual must be a rough way to go of it. I would never know, obviously, but from an outside perspective it seems like there really is a lack of grey area for bi guys. It looks like gay men are expected to be gay, and straight men are expected to be hetero. The bisexuals probably get the short end of the stick, because they run the risk of not fitting into the expected ideals that male society has of gay men or the super-masculine image that straight guys usually are given. Not gay enough, not straight, but someplace in a crazy shade of lavender in between the worlds and perspective. Being a bisexual woman is probably more "acceptable" in the eyes of both female and general society, while the bi men disappear.
I have a gut feeling that the 15% of guys who answered that they've been/have had biscurious experiences is majorly understating the amount of fencesitters that probably answered overall. It sounds like such a stereotypically bi thing to say, but more of society in general is bisexual [to some extent] than is ever honestly recorded. Still, I maintain that that percentage given here was way off base from the truth. As usual.
Monday, March 12, 2012
Supercreep Music Videos!
Oh dear God.
I don't even know what to say to this.
That's like saying "I'm not racist, I have black friends". Considering that I am a queer Catholic, I can say Rick Santorum should shut it. There's no "gay agenda". That's such a myth.
His squinty eye is also really, really distracting.
Thursday, March 8, 2012
The Lesbian Cliche Song!
I guess it's time to go back to being queer again!
I saw this a million years ago, but just saw it again yesterday and it got stuck in my head. Even though I'm not a lesbian, there are some points to this that are both true and hysterical. "Drinking soymilk out of kegs", "downloadin' some Sara & Tegan", and "watchin' L Word on Showtime" sound like me in a particularly gay mood. I DO own a black dreamcatcher too. I haven't adopted my puppy yet..but I have taken in two foster/stray cats!(My ex girlfriend could be a "fleecey vest with visable seams" and "majoring in Women's Studies" type...*shiver*)
This one's pretty flippin' funny too. I've never really been a U Haul gay chick, but I have friends where I swear their relationships come with a damn rent agreement!
Side note...that blonde with the short hair is cute for a white chick! ;)
Monday, March 5, 2012
If You Can Play...You Can Play.
I am so proud to call myself an NHL fan today.
I love seeing Scott Hartnell and Claude Giroux in this PSA.
I love seeing Scott Hartnell and Claude Giroux in this PSA.
Sunday, March 4, 2012
This weekend...warning-language.
Wow to this weekend. Just wow.
I still feel like I could go on a long string about my priest. But I won't. I've made my opinion well known.
I will say that it's not just the clergy that's royally FUCKED UP in this Church. Some of the people who think they're "good" are really fearmongering, torches-and pitchforks at the ready, pompous, pious assholes who truly believe that their knowledge surpasses common sense and basic psychology.
I visited my grandparents today. I got approval from my grandfather for my financial setup, which was nice. It's good to know at least one person thinks I'm not a complete bimbo. And I found out that my hatred of milk is hereditary. He uses fruit juice on his cereal. I've never seen my father eat cereal. And I use almond milk because cow milk is nasty. I get the ketchup thing from pop too. Haha!
I also got a little slap of disapproval from my grandmother for *thinking about* getting a tattoo. (She doesn't know I have one....muhahahahahaha!)
She also said I was weird. Because...
Jello freaks me out.
I'm scared of roaches.
Centipedes make me nauseous.
Clowns and nutcrackers freak me out.
I can't sleep in rooms that have mirrors in them.
I still feel stuck on this freakin' paper. This weekend has me frazzled and distracted as hell. I'm exhausted. and really not in a good mood, despite three people breaking me out of my rut today.
Calgon, take me away. :/
I will say that it's not just the clergy that's royally
I visited my grandparents today. I got approval from my grandfather for my financial setup, which was nice. It's good to know at least one person thinks I'm not a complete bimbo. And I found out that my hatred of milk is hereditary. He uses fruit juice on his cereal. I've never seen my father eat cereal. And I use almond milk because cow milk is nasty. I get the ketchup thing from pop too. Haha!
I also got a little slap of disapproval from my grandmother for *thinking about* getting a tattoo. (She doesn't know I have one....muhahahahahaha!)
She also said I was weird. Because...
Jello freaks me out.
I'm scared of roaches.
Centipedes make me nauseous.
Clowns and nutcrackers freak me out.
I can't sleep in rooms that have mirrors in them.
I still feel stuck on this freakin' paper. This weekend has me frazzled and distracted as hell. I'm exhausted. and really not in a good mood, despite three people breaking me out of my rut today.
Calgon, take me away. :/
Friday, March 2, 2012
Don't Stand So Close To Me.....
Good Morning Everybody!
So I'm on Spring Break now, but it doesn't really feel like a break because I still have like six trillion things to do. I have this one assignment for my research paper that has had me totally tripped up for about two weeks and I still can't get into the jam of it. Frustrating.
Every morning I have two things that I usually do: go to the Keurig and make myself coffee, and log in to my various homepages so I can read my mail and the morning headlines. I was logging into my work email and saw this curious little article: Teacher, 41, files for divorce and quits his job to be with former student, 18.
This is an odd situation. Basically, this teacher met this student when she was a freshman, and over time they became attracted to each other, now they're together. They say nothing really happened until she turned 18 and he quit his job. Her mother says that she doesn't believe that because she has records of them having around 8,000 text messages and emails. The real kicker in this situation is that this guy taught at the same school his daughter goes to. She's a classmate of his now girlfriend.
The two things that immediately jumped into my mind here were "mid life crisis", and "wow, did you really have to go about it like THAT?" The girls mother is saying that she thinks her daughter was groomed into this, which is a possibility. If so, that's f***ing sick.
If the two of them are being honest about not acting on anything until she was legal and he was no longer a teacher, then the only thing I can really say about that is that he really should have waited until his daughter graduated.
Whatever this dude is going through is not his kid's problem, but now that girl's life is going to be social hell because of his actions. She's not going to be able to show her face in those halls anymore, who are we kidding? This dude claims that he wants to salvage a relationship with his kids. I really can't see that happening, considering that his daughter's life is going to be all mucked up now and she's probably creeped out. His divorce...well, nobody but the family really knows the state of that marriage. It could have been kaput long before this, who knows? But wow.
I'm pretty leinent about weird situations and age differences, because it doesn't really phase me in my own life. My own partner is fourteen years my senior, actually. I've always been of the school of thought that if you actually do go through a situation like these two did, it would be right to wait it out to eighteen (or preferably a bit later than that). I think it's also really important if you end up falling for somebody who's literally the same age as your kids to keep your family in mind. They came first, and it should be that way. A dude making his daughter alienated as all hell by weirding her out will wreck their relationship completely. I don't think I'd ever get involved with somebody who had kids that were my age for that exact reason. If I really liked whoever it was, I'd stay far away because I didn't want to ruin some other, long standing and really emotional part of their lives. That just isn't worth it. It's just a moral hangup of mine. In my eyes, that's just something I couldn't look myself in the eyes in the mirror for anymore.
I don't know what's up with the couple in question. I will make a prediction though- they'll probably call it quits because of what gets said in the media.
Thoughts?
So I'm on Spring Break now, but it doesn't really feel like a break because I still have like six trillion things to do. I have this one assignment for my research paper that has had me totally tripped up for about two weeks and I still can't get into the jam of it. Frustrating.
Every morning I have two things that I usually do: go to the Keurig and make myself coffee, and log in to my various homepages so I can read my mail and the morning headlines. I was logging into my work email and saw this curious little article: Teacher, 41, files for divorce and quits his job to be with former student, 18.
This is an odd situation. Basically, this teacher met this student when she was a freshman, and over time they became attracted to each other, now they're together. They say nothing really happened until she turned 18 and he quit his job. Her mother says that she doesn't believe that because she has records of them having around 8,000 text messages and emails. The real kicker in this situation is that this guy taught at the same school his daughter goes to. She's a classmate of his now girlfriend.
The two things that immediately jumped into my mind here were "mid life crisis", and "wow, did you really have to go about it like THAT?" The girls mother is saying that she thinks her daughter was groomed into this, which is a possibility. If so, that's f***ing sick.
If the two of them are being honest about not acting on anything until she was legal and he was no longer a teacher, then the only thing I can really say about that is that he really should have waited until his daughter graduated.
Whatever this dude is going through is not his kid's problem, but now that girl's life is going to be social hell because of his actions. She's not going to be able to show her face in those halls anymore, who are we kidding? This dude claims that he wants to salvage a relationship with his kids. I really can't see that happening, considering that his daughter's life is going to be all mucked up now and she's probably creeped out. His divorce...well, nobody but the family really knows the state of that marriage. It could have been kaput long before this, who knows? But wow.
I'm pretty leinent about weird situations and age differences, because it doesn't really phase me in my own life. My own partner is fourteen years my senior, actually. I've always been of the school of thought that if you actually do go through a situation like these two did, it would be right to wait it out to eighteen (or preferably a bit later than that). I think it's also really important if you end up falling for somebody who's literally the same age as your kids to keep your family in mind. They came first, and it should be that way. A dude making his daughter alienated as all hell by weirding her out will wreck their relationship completely. I don't think I'd ever get involved with somebody who had kids that were my age for that exact reason. If I really liked whoever it was, I'd stay far away because I didn't want to ruin some other, long standing and really emotional part of their lives. That just isn't worth it. It's just a moral hangup of mine. In my eyes, that's just something I couldn't look myself in the eyes in the mirror for anymore.
I don't know what's up with the couple in question. I will make a prediction though- they'll probably call it quits because of what gets said in the media.
Thoughts?
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
I Don't Usually Write Stuff Like This...Or Post Terrifyingly Bad Pictures...
I don't usually think much about when celebrities die, but Davy Jones has me choked up a little. When I was around ten or eleven years old, I went through this weird phase where I was obsessed with The Monkees, especially Davy. I had a couple of episodes of the tv show on an old VHS tape, and I think the second or third CD I ever bought was The Monkees' Greatest Hits. I can still picture being in front of the huge stereo in the living room playing it. I still watch the show when I catch it on Antenna TV.
When I broke my arm rollerskating and I just got my cast put on, I remember my mom ordering out food (I had chicken fingers..big surprise) and I watched the Monkees reunion show on tv. I remember being really excited and happy because I had my chicken and I got to watch Davy Jones!
I even have a school picture that has a little Davy tribute in it. Before I describe this sad excuse for of a picture, I want to tell you guys that I am the QUEEN of terrible school photos. Anybody reading this who's my brother or sister, or my best friends from grade school will attest. Anyway, in this particular picture I had my red and white Seuss-hat looking striped sweater on...and I was holding one of those cheap ass tambourines that you used to see in the toys section of the grocery store. (Do they even still have that section???) It was an orange plastic tambourine, and I was sitting with it and grinning stupidly into those blinding lights they use on Picture Days.
It might be weird, but despite the fact that I was born decades after their heyday, I have really vivid memories of The Monkees from when I was little. I walked down Chestnut Street singing along to "A Little Bit Me, A Little Bit You" tonight on the way home from school. And you know, just like I was happy being a kid with that cheesy tambourine, I did not care that people were looking at me weird.
RIP Davy.
(PS...just to show you how serious I am about my awful school pictures...here's two of the BETTER ones. I'll see if I can find the tambourine one sometime soon.)
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Monday, February 27, 2012
Student Life. Not sure if I'm showing my age or if I'm just really, really neurotic.
I really have not decided on what it is I actually want to do. I’ve always know that whatever I ended up doing for a living would have something to do with communication, law, or education. After my disastrous experiences with my high school counselor and psychiatrist’s office, I started to think about working with at-risk teens and young adults. I don’t know how I want to do that just yet, but I really look back on my own experiences and I can’t help but wish somebody competent was actually there to help me get to the very root about what was going on with me. I had a lackluster counselor who really only had one urge: to satisfy my father and push her one solution on me. Needless to say, it didn’t work.
I have felt very much brushed aside by the school system from that moment on. I tried (twice) to go back to classes when I was in high school, after screwing around for a while. I got really discouraged the first time I came back, and the second time I was told that 1) I could never finish on time because I was undercredited and overage, and 2) That I shouldn’t even bother trying to get into another option…that I should just drop out. (Yes…that is almost a word-for-word quote.)
I’ve been toying around with the idea of either Psychology or Law for a few months. When I first started at CCP my major was Education, but I realized that being a teacher wasn’t exactly what I envisioned when I thought about what I really wanted to do. Right now, I’m a Social Sciences major. I’m considering taking my BA in Psychology after this, probably by doing a dual BA/MA program at Drexel or another Philadelphia-area college. After that…I don’t really know. I know that I’m going to end up with a graduate degree, but I’m not sure if I want to get a license to practice law or become a shrink. I guess that’s going to be a bridge that I’ll cross once I come upon it. Who knows, maybe I’ll end up in a job I like once I’m done my master’s and I won’t feel a need to go to go further at all.
I’m getting the feeling like looking at the big picture right now is making me overly anxious. I still have a healthy four to five years between here and grad school. I think part of me is being impatient because I started college so much later than everyone around me. There’s probably some self-consciousness lingering around in my crazy little head because of that. It feels really weird to watch everyone else LEAVE while I’m just finishing my freshman year. I know that really shouldn’t matter, but it’s a nagging thought.
Saturday, February 25, 2012
It's funny how movies can make you think sometimes, isn't it?
I actually don’t have anything particularly gay to talk about today, except for mentioning that I watched Kissing Jessica Stein last night. If you’ve never seen it, the rundown is pretty simple. Girl journalist has awful luck with men, and gets called out on being ‘too picky’ by her ex/boss. There’s a personals ad that her friend comes across in the paper with a quote that miss journalist had just read…only…it’s in the WFW section. On a crazy, bicurious whim she answers it. The women awkwardly traipse through a lesbian relationship; complete with the journalist covering up their relationship by saying her girl is her “friend”, etc… The pair go through the relationship, the relationship dies of lesbian bed death, and they remain friends afterwards. The journalist is kind of left ambiguous, because they set her up with her ex /boss again, and her girlfriend is seen with another woman.
Now that’s all very gay, but the driving point of this movie has a lot more to do with how we view ourselves when it comes to human relationships. The delightfully bisexual characters in this movie really were pretty spot on when it comes to figuring out that you’re bi.
Watching this pretty much got me thinking about my own dynamic in relationships, my types, and all that. Everybody has their preferences, and bisexual people are no exception. There are a lot of jokes out there that we’ll pretty much boink anything human that moves, but that’s never ever been true for me. Obviously, like any responsible person of ANY orientation I steer way clear of any kind of disease I can catch, and I’m a real stickler for getting all parties involved screened for HIV before anything remotely physical happens. The phrase “herpes is forever” should be mentioned here, too.
All that being said, I think there’s a difference between “picky” and “careful”. Everybody has their preferred type, sure. That’s normal. For me, if the in question potential partner is a guy, he’s always older than I am (usually by enough to be noticeable) and always has dark hair. Most of the time, they’re either Italians or Nikki Sixx wannabes. For girls, I cannot get into butch chicks. Being bisexual, I don’t see the point. It’s not my thing. The other weird thing is that I don’t usually like white women. Normally we look like birds and it’s just not attractive to me. Usually.
Having a type is not what I’d consider picky. Picky would be having this ideal person who’s absolutely perfect in every single way in your eyes and expecting every single date you go on to be “that” person. Picky would be those people who go on and on like Jack Black’s character in Shallow Hal. I think picky is also a front for self esteem issues a lot of times too. There seems to be this very real issue for people in deciphering what they admire and want for themselves, and what they want in another person. For example, Girl A thinks that she wants to be ‘with’ Girl B because Girl B has an outgoing, shiny personality. The girls would date for a while, and then the traits that Girl A thought she liked about Girl B get annoying. They split, and Girl A blames the entire scenario on Girl B not being “enough”. What really happened there was that Girl A saw things in another person that she wanted to be/have for herself, and was not aware that the problem was really with herself and her self-image, not with her “crappy” partners. I’ve had mad girl crushes like that, especially when I was 17 or so years old. It was easy to confuse what I “wanted” with” what I wanted for myself”.
That was pretty much the realization that miss journalist was given in Kissing Jessica Stein. It was pretty thought provoking because when you apply thoughts like that to all of your failed relationships, you sometimes look back and see that it really WAS you, not them.
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