Tuesday, March 13, 2012

60% and 15%? These numbers aren't the ones lying around here...

I've been told by a lot of my friends over time that on the butch-femme spectrum, I fall someplace in the middle. That is, not frilly and overly feminine, but not short haired and masculine either. Soft butch, futch, hard femme, whatever...there are way too many lesbian slang terms.
Anyway.
When I'm being particularly girly, waiting for my conditioner to finish doing its thing or whatever, I'll usually flip through something to pass the time. A couple days ago, my periodical of choice was this month's issue of Women's Health. In a tiny little clip, there was a really interesting statistic about women and bisexuality. Of the people used in the poll, 60% of the women admitted to being bicurious or acting on a female crush at some point in their lives. 15% of the men answered the same way.
That's a pretty drastic difference when it comes to percentages. The poll gave a perspective that women are usually more inclined to act on lesbian thoughts because of the way we're socially programmed from a young age. Women are raised with the idea that it's alright to be physically affectionate with friends, and in many cases Katy Perry-esque girl kisses are brushed off as a rite or passage or attention-seeking tactic that many young women use to gain male attention. This attitude is a pretty blatant hint to the idea that is repeated a lot in the gay community regarding prejudice: it is easier for women to be gay than it is for men.
I will admit that it seems like society, especially conservative society, is much more accepting of little Suzie having two moms than if she had two fathers. I guess that goes in some crazy cycle about the "friendships" of women and our supposed instincts to be nurturing and/or empathetic.
My boyfriend gave some input regarding the way social norms affect the results of this poll, saying that the way male society is, being bisexual would be very stigmatized. Apparently, there's supposed to be gay men and straight men, and that's it.
I've always gotten the feeling like being both male and bisexual must be a rough way to go of it. I would never know, obviously, but from an outside perspective it seems like there really is a lack of grey area for bi guys. It looks like gay men are expected to be gay, and straight men are expected to be hetero. The bisexuals probably get the short end of the stick, because they run the risk of not fitting into the expected ideals that male society has of gay men or the super-masculine image that straight guys usually are given. Not gay enough, not straight, but someplace in a crazy shade of lavender in between the worlds and perspective. Being a bisexual woman is probably more "acceptable" in the eyes of both female and general society, while the bi men disappear.
I have a gut feeling that the 15% of guys who answered that they've been/have had biscurious experiences is majorly understating the amount of fencesitters that probably answered overall. It sounds like such a stereotypically bi thing to say, but more of society in general is bisexual [to some extent] than is ever honestly recorded. Still, I maintain that that percentage given here was way off base from the truth. As usual.

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