So The Bi Girl Is A...Catholic? How does that work?

     When most of us think about how Catholicism and issues like gay marriage mix, the phrase "oil and water" comes to mind. I think most of us would be about half right about that idea. Homosexuality is not to the Church what ridiculous, false churches/terrorist organizations like WBC make it out to be. Homosexuality is a sexual sin along the lines of fornication. All gay sex is fornication to the Church because that sect of Christianity does not recognize gay marriage. Any sex outside of marriage is a sin to the Church, whether the couple is gay or straight, together or in an adulterous affair. (That last one, well, that's actually a lot worse than the others given because Christ himself had a serious issue with vow-breaking and dishonesty in that regard.)
     The US Catechism of the Catholic Church does address homosexuality, and it's not in the way that you'd expect. I'm going to paraphrase here, because the subject crops up a lot in the book, but basically it is the Church's stance that: 1) being gay/lesbian/bisexual was NOT something that the person in question chose; and 2) it isn't right to make judgment calls or treat a member of the Church or any other person like less because of that. It also still has the same laws regarding sexual sin that heterosexuals have. Basically, the problem with the Church and gays isn't that people are gay. It's sex in general. (Tell us something we don't know, right?)
    So how did a life-realized queer end up in the pews on Sunday mornings? It's a really long story. My parents had what the Church calls a 'mixed marriage', meaning my father is Catholic and my mother was not. When I was growing up, religion was practiced more by my grandparents than by my parents.My paternal grandfather is a devout Catholic married to a Baptist, and my maternal family had a mixed marriage of Catholic and Swedenborgen. I wasn't really raised going to church or in any particular denomination, but I was given the typical Judeo-Christianesque values. I went through that teen phase of "question everything", and after my mother's death I walked away from the Church. During my absence I found a home in the Neopagan community. I still hold a lot of the beliefs from that vast umbrella of faiths, and I still stand with the community for getting legal recognition in the United States. Recently, a lot of not-so-savory things have happened in my life that led me back to Christian life. My grandfather's influence and my own instinct led me to Catholicism.
     I am not out to my parish, nor am I out to my priest. As much as I do like my Father as a person, I get the feeling that the atmosphere between us would change drastically if I were to come out. I don't know if I would be treated the same. I have a boyfriend, and he goes to Mass with me. I know that I pass as straight in Church. This is a really sticky point for bisexuals, and it's not really a fun place to be. One of the big accusations that the LGBT community has with bi people is that we can "pass as straight to make life easier". I guess there can be a grain of truth in that. I don't like the way it feels. It feels like I'm hiding a facet of myself, but in this part of my life, I'm aware that the facets of my faith practiced and my orientation do not mix well. Where I am in the city and where I am sacramentally-speaking, I feel like I have to keep this facade up for longer than I'd like. I feel like I'm reinforcing the "hiding bisexuals" stereotype with this.  I am out in every other part of my life, I've got a bi pride tattoo proudly stamped on the back of my neck. That in mind, I'm pretty sure that the LGBT-aware/ally people in my church notice it when I'm kneeling during Mass...
There are some great Catholic/Episcopalian churches out there that are very open to LGBT Catholics, including St. Luke and the Epiphany's Dignity USA chapter. [ Dignity USA ] I think once I've moved to a different part of my city and can attend a more gay-friendly Mass, I will. I know that God knows I'm queer. He doesn't seem to have a problem with me on it. My prayers get answered, like everyone elses' do. I try very hard to live a moral life, even when I'm in a lesbian relationship as opposed to a straight one. I tried to do that as non-denominational, as Pagan, and now as Catholic. I don't think being queer nullifies my Baptism, and I certainly don't feel like I'm less of a person or a bad person because I'm not straight. This isn't just a question of faith for gay and lesbian Catholics. Those invisible bisexuals get it too, and even with our own spin on the problem.

(Crazy side note, I'm listening to Pandora radio as I write this. Just as I wrote that last paragraph, a John Lennon song called "God" came on. Lyrics are beyond ironic!)