Yay, Nay, and a Whale of a Tale!

On a Yay! Note:
"Let bygones be bygones, and bi-girls be bi-girls" made me just about squee with joy at True Blood this weekend.


On a Nay! Note:
Looking at pictures from this weekend made me cry. What the FUCK is that redheaded whale doing in my bathing suit?! :'(

Obama and The Rainbow Paint.

    Hey, so I know it's been a while. Things have been a little bit nuts for the last couple weeks, and I'm in sore need of a vacation. Which I'm taking tomorrow, so I figured I'd get this post in before I left for the weekend.

     I want to chip my two cents in on a topic that's been really buzzing in both the political and gay circles for a while now. Barack Obama's reelection/marketing is working serious overtime for a second term. His campaign is now including merchandise and targeted messages for the women, Latino, Black, and gay votes. Obama Pride has been catching a lot of attention. The campaign was giving out free rainbow "Out for Obama" stickers and merchandise at all pride events this year. The White House even had a pride event for the first time in history this June.

     On one hand, I am happy to see the Obama administration actually trying to make progress with LGBT issues, like the repeal of the extremely unnecessary and stupid DADT for the US military. On the other, I'm actually a little bit insulted at the flamboyance of all this "rainbow washing". It sort of reminds me of a Family Guy skit where Lois was running for office and was told that undecided voters will pretty much go for anything that hits a chord with them. Insulting.
     It's so transparent that this is a tactic for the HRC's backing and the gay vote. That vote is a pretty big deal to the reelection because traditionally the gays have the money to fund politicians that serve their cause. (I guess the hetero half of me keeps me broke, because I don't see ANY financial benefits to being a switch hitter. BOOO!)

     I really hate how the gay-friendly wash on Obama is supposed to drag the entire LGBT community to his re-election. There are other issues that have effects on this community besides bullying and marriage, believe it or not. How can we even get into workplace discrimination if our labor situation and economy suck? How can we talk about LGBT health conferences when Americans of every possible creed and orientation can't afford basic health care? We're worried about bullying...when our national drop out rate is rising every year and our education situation is getting more hopeless for all students every day?

     Granted, I don't believe that Mitt Romney is good for gays (or America at this time, for that matter) but is the fake spectacle that is "Obama Pride" really necessary?

On the Brink of Being Totally Off Topic. Almost...

            " you can live a lie until you die, but one thing you can't hide is when you're crippled inside..."


   One of the things that was really hard for me in figuring out what was going on with my orientation was dealing with what everyone else considered "normal". Growing up, I saw very little representation of gay life and even less of the grey area called bisexuality. When I was really young, before anything really starting coming together, all I knew was that something was different than what everyone else seemed to be. That feeling that you're not "normal" for whatever reason is one of the things that keeps people in the closet, and generally leads to people being very frustrated in their lives. A lot of people go through the motions of what's "supposed to be" in their lives at various points, and completely deny everything that they want or feel normal about internally to fit into other peoples pretty little boxes of expectations. People who are gay or bisexual will sometimes go through their entire lives the way an "average, red-blooded heterosexual" would do it...and this almost always ends in complete failure.

      Maybe it's the shrink in me, but I'm fascinated by this entire idea.

      Ultimately, everyone involved in these weird situations gets completely fucked in the head. (Sorry but really, it's the only way to totally capture the effect.) All these people who allow other people to run their every move, subconsciously or otherwise, end up in these hollow, miserable circumstances. People get into relationships and sometimes even marry into relationships that they don't even want to please everyone else. People will go into fields of study or careers they can't stand for the same reasons. There's almost always some nagging individual that manages to know exactly how to get into others' minds to manipulate these deeds. At the end of the day, how many people wander around in these fake, elaborate lies? It seems like an absolutely awful way to live, especially when coupled with the idea that these people usually lie to themselves and everyone else to kind of "fake it til they make it" (which is a load of dung if there ever was one).

      Then the people who push these expectations and such onto others are really setting themselves up for massive disappointment. Even when their pretty little mice run the maze like they're "supposed to", there's no guarantee that everything works out in these puppet masters' favors. Most of the time, these subjects get to a point where they can't deal with the lie anymore and just crack. Usually in an enormous way that there's no coming back from. Every single shred of the controlling/masochistic relationship goes down the drain for all the involved parties and then everyone is all jacked up.

      How in the holy name of God does that sound healthy/appealing? What is it about people that makes it seem like other peoples' opinions are really worth that much? Is it scarring from psychological trauma and bullying, or is it something else entirely?

One of my favorite bisexuals is back tonight!

Muhahahaha! True Blood comes back tonight. I am very excited for this!

(Stereotypical on so many levels, I know.)

One of the main characters is played by Anna Paquin, one of my favorite bisexual actresses. It so rocks to see her decide to be out for a reason, like helping the Give A Damn campaign, where she first publicly came out.



“I’m not someone who endlessly talks about her personal life for no reason, but obviously, as someone who identifies as bisexual, those are issues I really care about.”
I love that. I really think that bisexuals need to make an effort to view "gay issues" in that way, because it DOES have an effect on our lives as much as it does for gays and lesbians. I think some bi bashing comes from the idea that we sometimes blend into hetero society and don't seem very interested in issues like workplace or marriage equality. That's a shame for those that don't bother, and it sucks to be put in that category when you're bisexual and actually DO give a damn!

She also represents well for the bi community in the straight media, which is very hard for bisexuals in straight relationships. It's great to see somebody say what all the people in that situation think everyday, regardless of how people will perceive it.

“I’m someone who believes being bisexual is actually a thing,” she continues. “It’s not made up. It’s not a lack of decision. It’s not being greedy or numerous other ignorant things I’ve heard at this point. … For a bisexual, it’s not about gender. That’s not the deciding factor for who they’re attracted to"
Fang-tastic. (That was bad. Sorry.)

Why Bisexuals Can't Win. (With guest appearance...by The L Word!)

So this is something that comes up a LOT when it comes to people who bat for both teams. There seems to be this weird phenomenon in the gay community about bisexuals who are in hetero relationships. Some gay men and lesbians take the stance of "well, they can choose to be straight or hide in hetero relationships, so they don't count as queer".
Obviously, the switch hitters don't like that. Especially when people like Cynthia Nixon (ew) back up that exact sentiment by saying that bisexuals do indeed choose to be gay or not. Things like that stir up a lot of hate, and with that hate comes dating reluctance and alienation. Apparently, there are a lot of lesbians who flat out refuse to date bi women because they have that notion that said women are "gross" or that the lesbian relationship that comes from a mixed orientation couple is probably just some "phase" or "a meaningless trip into alternative lifestyles". Kinda like this:

The crazy thing about that notion....it comes up in some sort of twisted funhouse mirror image in straight relationships too! Kinda like....this!

"Never being without a date on a Saturday night" just doesn't seem worth it, 99.9% of the time.

June is LGBT Pride Month!

Hey people!

     So today is June 1st, and it's the start of Pride month. June is the month where all the big national Pride parades and conventions crop up. The one here in Philadelphia is in ten days, and that's always a hoot. I do have plans to go to it, and I will make sure I get some video and pictures to share.
     I'm sure the people who've read this before or have been checking out the blog have have noticed that the way it looks is really, really different. One of the big issues that the bisexual community has going on with Pride is that we don't have a lot of presence at gay pride parades. Usually in Philly the only representation we get is Bi Unity . So...I want to put up this bi-inclusive rainbow because the bisexuals are the B in LGBT. We have our own thing, but it's part of something bigger. We're falling under the rainbow too.
     This month there are a lot of movies and documentaries about LGBT topics available On Demand and on Netflix. Some pretty cool stuff. The one I'm catching today is called "Outrage", and it focuses on closeted gay politicians that publicly speak against equal rights for the gays. Hypocrisy and self-hate on parade!

An LGBT Perspective on Target and Company Boycotts.

     I have a feeling this post is going to ruffle some feathers, but before I start getting the flame emails- hear me out. There seems to be this trend with the gay community about boycotting retailers and companies for not being LGBT-inclusive or for supporting organizations like National Organization for Marriage (NOM). The biggest pusher for this kind of action is usually the Human Rights Campaign (HRC), the largest and most financially affluent organization for gay rights in the United States. The HRC has a serious hard on for digging out corporate inequality, and every year they release a "Where to Work/Where to Shop" pamphlet that rates middle to large scale companies according to the companies' stances on domestic partner benefits and hiring practices. I'm going to start off by saying that I support that to an extent. My big "gay issue" that I support full heartedly is workplace equality, and the "List" is a good jumping off point, even if it just makes people think about who they shop for.
     But on the other part of their spectrum are the boycotts. Even in the last few years, it feels like the community is always boycotting at least five places any given day. Right now the "big fish" seem to be Target, Chik Fil A, and Hershey. I believe that one of these places does deserve to lose gay dollars, but the other two feel like grey areas to me. I am aware that Chik Fil A is marketed as (and in a way) ran as a "Christian/Family operation". They are closed on Sundays for the Christian Sabbath, and they do use a lot of religious references and support a lot of conservative religious groups. They also have a history of financially backing extreme anti-gay groups like NOM. It bothers me because they use direct profits (meaning, coming directly from customer profits) to fuel the donations to these groups. I feel that if I'm going to pay money for a product, the owners and CEOs should not be using literally the dimes from MY pocket to fund hateful organizations. Plus it bothers me as an LGBT Catholic that a massive company would hide behind faith to fuel hatred. That, in my mind, is no better than the Westboro Baptist Idiots. Although the grilled chicken and waffle fries are delicious....I have joined that ship to not give LGBT/Ally money until the funding situation is changed.
     Hershey is apparently being boycotted now for funding a school that terminated a student's inclusion in the school because he is HIV-positive. Although I do think that it's ignorant, I don't think that a boycott of the mostly unaffiliated company is going to do much to solve that situation. I think claims such as the one on the back of this week's Philadelphia Gay News stating that "Hershey is UnAmerican" are not only misleading, but not correctly stated. I understand the concept of "putting pressure on the financial backer to make a statement/pull their funding", but I don't think that's the right way to deal with this issue. I will not back this boycott because I feel it's ineffective. This issue should really be a direct issue WITH the school, not using the backer as a way to call attention to the problem.
      Then comes the boycott of Target. Ohhh boy, what a grey area this one is. A few years ago, the CEO of Target donated money to an anti-gay group who supported a very bigoted politician , and the HRC had a field day. Keep in mind that as far as domestic partner benefits and hiring practices go, Target had a pretty clean slate for a very long time. Many of the companies and designers that Target works with as partners are LGBT run or Ally companies, too. Since that funding mistake, and I do believe that it was something that wasn't even considered (not that that's good...) the HRC has NEVER let it go. Target's hiring practices, benefits contracts, and corporate partner situations have hardly changed. This year, even after seeing the backlash at Old Navy for releasing similar merchandise, Target has gone full speed ahead and has been unapologetic about manufacturing and selling Pride clothing, where part of the proceeds go to a pro LGBT family organization. Now some people at the HRC and in the community are saying this is a gimmick to reel in some of the lost gay dollars. Maybe. But I will say that in my eyes, years of a solid record of support regarding workplace equality FAR OUTWEIGH one nasty misstep. Let the flaming begin...
      Funnily enough, last summer I had an interview at a gay owned-gay run retailer on South Street. (I chose not to disclose my orientation, which I never do in interviews, regardless of WHO I'm interviewing for. It shouldn't matter. Anyway...) The topic of Target came up, and I expressly said that I continued to do business there. Before I could go into my logic, as this was a very casual conversation/interview, I was greeted with a sort of nasty, "shut down" kind of response, and I knew before the chat was over that I'd been passed up for the position. (Side note, when I was at last year's OutFest, I made it a point to stop by the guy's booth, wearing my bracelet and with my tattoo clearly visible. He looked shocked. He had that "oh MAN I feel like an ass" thing going on. Funny how making ASSumptions causes that look, eh?)