How Do You Mix Being Bisexual and Butch Without Getting Rejected?

Good (freakishly early in my book) morning, people!

Before I even get started on today's bisexual rant, I have to get this out of the way. OH MY GOD, FLYERS. That...in my expert opinion, was an ass whoopin'! Fluery looked like he was going to cry when the Pens took him out of the net. Watching like four line fights bust out was awesome, especially when Claude Giroux went and fought Cindy Crosby. That was beautiful. Hartnell's "you pulled my hair, bitch!" was legendary. I love the NHL. Okay, sorry. I had to butch out there because I'm still elated from yesterday.

Speaking of butching out, I read this great one shot this morning about being bisexual and presenting as what's called a "soft butch". For my het friends that read this, let me explain what that means. In the gay community, but especially when you're talking about bisexual and lesbian women, there are a trillion labels and "types" of gay. Now some people are of the variety that disregard those terms completely, but I'm not one of them. A "soft butch" is pretty much a gay girl who physically or in her mannerisms come off as a little masculne. Someone like the chick who wrote this article, even someone like Kat von D from LA Ink (if she turned out to be gay ...wish) could be included in the "soft butch" spectrum in their own ways.
In reading this piece that I'm talking about, I got to thinking a lot about how twisted up some people would get about a bisexual woman who presented as more on the butch side. The author makes a really interesting point towards the end of her piece about how bisexual women have turned her down before, because they didn't "see the point" of a butch fencesitter. I understand that completely, and I've had the same thought, even though I'm rather "futch" myself. Guilty as charged.

(Not really butch, but not really frilly little femme either. Probably a chapstick lesbian somewhere in there, haha!)

In her case, I can't help but wonder if that experience would be different if she were a lesbian. It doesn't seem like bisexuals get a fair shake at being anything than "hetero passive" these days. Looking like you could pass for straight is pretty much accepted (and hated) when it comes to bisexuals. Deviating from that exterior usually causes some stir, at least from what I've witnessed.

The other thing that kind of clicked in my head when I read this was how drastically different some bi people can be when they're in opposite-sex and same-sex relationships. I know at least for me, I do a total 180 in my behavior depending on who I'm with. When I'm with another chick, I'm usually the more butch of the pair. The dominant part of my personality comes out, and even the way I talk has more of a masculine ring to it. But if I'm in a hetero relationship, the exact opposite happens. I don't think about it, it just sort of does it on its own. It's almost like a subconscious shift.

As far as rejection based on those behaviors or "butch traits" goes, I think I've really gotten that more from men than I have from women. I don't know if it's intimidating, or if some of the guys I've run across swear that one day I'm going to say I'm gay and that's it (hey biphobia, how ya doin...) or what. I wonder if it's a subconscious thing relating to sexuality and perception in the public sometimes, you know, like "she's so masculine, I wonder if he's really gay and in denial". It would be narrow minded, but I could see that thought process.

I know there's that old crack on bisexuals never being alone on a Saturday night, or that we double our chances. But in reality, the game of rejection and attraction gets so much more complicated once you start batting for both teams.

Supercreep is Gone (for now.)

Good Morning everybody!
Oh Happy Day, Supercreep is no longer a possible President. At least, not this time. The Advocate ran a story saying that he might be back in 2016. I don't want him back. I'm pretty sure no LGBT person, sane Catholic, or sane person for that matter would want to see the possibility of that assclown running the free world. So for right now, we will celebrate!
It looks like it's going to be Romney against Obama for the presidency. Looks like I'll be supporting Barack again. Namely because I think Mitt Romney isn't what this country needs as a leader. Not at this time, and maybe not ever. I'm not really a "ra ra Obama" type, but considering the cesspool that this place was when he took office it's pretty astounding that we're not swirling around the bowl right now. I know that the HRC and a lot of people in the gay community aren't happy with Obama because of how the fight for marriage equality is going. That isn't my flagship issue, so it's not a dealbreaker for me. Also, progress has been made- that would have been unthinkable at Stonewall, back in the start of this fight. Repealing Don't Ask Don't Tell was a bigger issue for me than gay marriage (let the flaming emails begin...) so 'Bama gets some points from this chick.
Enough of that for one day, eh?
It pleases my little heart to say that Saturday Night Live is now a little more gay. Kate McKinnon (the really adorable short haired blonde from the "Lesbian Cliche Song" video) has become the first openly lesbian comic on SNL. ;)

She's in this with Sophia Vergara! And the dude who's playing the show host looks a lot like my ex....O_O

Easter!

Happy Easter everybody.
I went to mass this morning and that was really good. I always like the positive, hopeful feel of this holiday.
Spending the evening having dinner at home with my partner. We'll probably be too stuffed with pasta, cannoli, and ricotta pie to move in a couple hours. :D

Jealous!

I swear, Pitbill always has the hottest girls in his videos.
Lucky bald bastard.

The Dumbest Thing I've Seen in Weeks.

The sheer stupidity and sad attempts at scare tactics really make this video painful to watch.


1) "In a land where Obama is reelected..." there will apparently be children missing a Chuck and the streets will be a ghost town.
2) "Small businesses are struggling..." Yep, that would happen no matter who was in office at this point. Decades of an economy on the verge of breakdown will do that, you know.
3) "Families are worried about their jobs..." Yep, because Obama is the cause of the shitty economic state, high unemployment rates, and factory/corporate outsourcing.
4) "The wait to see a doctor is ever-increasing..." Well when such a mass amount of people can't afford health insurance and the population is both aging and growing at the same time, that's going to happen. Obama didn't cause our grandparents to fuck so much that they had too many kids. And I couldn't afford insurance before he even ran for office...
5) "Gas prices will be through the roof..." Did ya'll not notice the climb started (this time) during the Bush Administration?
6) "Freedom of religion under attack..." How is promoting religious freedom for other groups attacking the freedom for Christians to practice? As a Catholic, I'm not threatened by Amad down the street going to mosque or Hershel going to synagogue. If a person is that shaken by other faiths, maybe they need to do some soul searching to see if their own faith is weak. This nation is not "a Christian nation"...our founding fathers and people of the American Revolution were from all walks. We had atheists, agnostics, Christians, Jews...it goes on and on. The idea of "In God We Trust" being on coins and such is NOT a defense for the idea of "the nation was founded on [blank] faith", because those coins were minted that way LONG after the country was founded.
7) "And every day, the residents of this town worry about a sworn American enemy having nuclear arms..." Yep...because if Iran chooses to attack the States, all the old, scared white folks in East Bumblefuck are the FIRST to go. Anyway, there's a lot of debate on whether or not that threat is even valid to the States. It's a bigger deal for Israel than it is for us...and we are not Israel. (Somebody should tell D.C. that at some point but that's another story.)
I really hope Rick Santorum doesn't get elected, because it would prove the point that Americans have gotten dumber as of late. Stereotypes! Based on fact?!

Starbucks versus NOM...you've got to be kidding me.

Good Morning people!

This morning is one of those mornings where I feel like I'm going to need a lot of coffee. Last night, I ended up hanging out after work and it kind of turned into a long night, so by the end of the day today, you'll probably be able to tap my blood and drink it with cream.

Speaking of coffee, I came across an interesting piece on Yahoo! Pride this morning about a completely moronic attack by NOM on a very popular and slightly overpriced coffee chain. Starbucks coffee (as a corporation) has had a very long history of supporting employment and benefits coverage-equality for LGBT people. They've also had a lot of presence at kiosks and such for pride events in virtually every major city in the US. National Organization for Marriage (which is already disreputable on its own) is claiming that those statements made for the gay community by Starbucks are wrong and that the company supports the "gay agenda", so they're screaming boycott. They've also went ahead and gave a list of other places that supporters of their cause can go to get coffee with a side of homophobia. The only problem is...quite a few "alternative options" on the list are also LGBT-inclusive and include gay corporate members.

All aboard the Fail Boat, NOM!

Not to perpetuate stereotypes, but come on...gays have been running, owning, and operating coffee shops for decades. There's almost always a wealth of various rainbow flyers in places like Starbucks.

I think this lovely clip from True Blood explains the idea behind why ridiculous boycotts like these are completely pointless:

Cherry Pie.

Today is going to be a long day. It's three in the morning, and I'm wide awake. Edgy, because of a death in my immediate family last night. It wasn't an unexpected death, but it's a jarring one for me. My grandfather was 89 years old, and physically he just gave out. He'd been fighting the inevitable for almost a year, it'd been a slow decline up until last week or so.

Yesterday I was walking down South Street when I got the feeling like something wasn't right. It bugged me all through class, and sure enough, when I left CCP there was a message from my aunt. I went from class right up into Bustleton to go see my aunts and my grandmother, who's still very much in shock. She spent 54 years with this man, and now he's gone.

I have a real issue when it comes to people I'm close to passing because although I have emotional ties to those people, I also have a very serious clinical phobia of cadavers/dead folks. It's been that way since I was a little kid. I can't deal with hospitals or funeral homes because of it, and when someone in my life passes, that phobic reaction is still intact. It's hard enough for me to be in the same building as the body, let alone see it. I also would really rather not have the memory of that sight. You don't gain anything by seeing a corpse, except maybe mental scarring. I chose not to see that because there's other things I'd really rather remember than someone being at their worst.

I just saw this man up and talking two weeks ago. He asked me how I was doing with speaking/writing in German, and if I still had his Schiller book and his dictionary. (I do, but for the life of me can't remember where they are right now.) He told me stories about when he was working, working with people who didn't speak English. After he'd retreated back to his bedroom, he continued to listen to the conversations taking place in the dining room. I was talking to my aunt and grandmother about how my loan money is being divided and what I intend to do to get out of my rut. He told my aunt to tell me that he thought my idea was pretty sound and that I "have a good head on my shoulders".

About two weeks before that, I'd had dinner with him at the house. He was tearing up a cheesesteak and telling me about how milk is gross so he ate his cereal with fruit juice. I laughed at that because I also find milk to be disgusting on most occasions. (Weirdly enough, it's one of those things that went from my grandfather to my father to me.) We had a laugh over the idea that we both hate ketchup once it's been in the fridge, too.

Right after my birthday back in January, I went to go visit him. We all ended up at the table, eating cherry pie and talking about Johnny Cash. Apparently he was the original monster-movie fan too. He saw Dracula and Frankenstein in theaters during his day, and showed them to my dad when my father was a kid. My father showed them to me...and a new generation of dork was born.

For all it's worth, he lived a long and full life. He was almost 90 years old, a World War 2 veteran, seven kids, and countless grandchildren. It still sucks, because now that house is going to feel immensely empty to me and everyone else, but when it's time it's just time. And it was obvious that the time was coming up on him. If there was one thing I could say, and I'm sure he knows it, it's "thank you". This is the man that gave me my culture, and so many of my weird quirks. I'm going to miss him.

Taken just a month and a half ago.