So I'm going to start this post with a little bit of a nod to a much-disputed gay icon who's recently passed away. Donna Summer was part of the disco culture, which was a safe haven for so many in the gay community back in the 1970s. She was also an inspiration for many drag queens, past and present, with her big hair and flamboyant outfits. She even made the switch hitters of the time with a certain line in one of her hits, haha.
Donna alleged made some not so fabulous comments about the gays and AIDS that some people still hold her to. Others claim it never happened. But even if she did make one of those 'God is punishing you' comments, her impact on the drag community and disco queens is undeniable.
I have a personal story somewhat sort of connected here too, crazy enough. (Apart from my mom and uncle being into disco during that scene.)A little over a year ago I was working in the gayest produce department in a grocery store ever...and THIS jam constantly blared through the speakers in the meat room. It was a big, meaty, gay hell. Complete with homophobic pineapples.
Thursday, May 17, 2012
Saturday, May 12, 2012
Futch and the Swimsuit from Hell
I love certain things about summer. The sun being out, Pride events, funnel cakes, and especially beach trips. But there's one thing that I dread- swimsuit shopping.
I don't think the majority of women like swimsuit shopping. Things can look really great on a model or on the rack (no pun intended), and they when a chick tries something on it gives her the urge to slap on a mumu and dig into a huge bowl of brownie batter because it's so depressing. No matter how femme-y and hot a girl is she is guaranteed to go through this hell at least once a year. It sucks.
When you're a girl who's not so in your face feminine, the problem gets even more frustrating. Not everyone with a uterus wants to look like a Victoria's Secret model, believe it or not. This article delves into the conundrum of shopping for this hell piece when chicks are butch, but then there's the interesting type who's neither here nor there. What if ruffled bikinis make you want to barf, but the idea of a granny suit under swim trunks isn't any better?
Blah.
Where's that brownie batter?
I don't think the majority of women like swimsuit shopping. Things can look really great on a model or on the rack (no pun intended), and they when a chick tries something on it gives her the urge to slap on a mumu and dig into a huge bowl of brownie batter because it's so depressing. No matter how femme-y and hot a girl is she is guaranteed to go through this hell at least once a year. It sucks.
When you're a girl who's not so in your face feminine, the problem gets even more frustrating. Not everyone with a uterus wants to look like a Victoria's Secret model, believe it or not. This article delves into the conundrum of shopping for this hell piece when chicks are butch, but then there's the interesting type who's neither here nor there. What if ruffled bikinis make you want to barf, but the idea of a granny suit under swim trunks isn't any better?
Blah.
Where's that brownie batter?
Thursday, May 10, 2012
Barack Obama is the First President to Back Gay Marriage
For some reason I'm not as happy about this as I was about Biden's support. I think it's because Biden's comments really did seem a lot more genuine than what the POTUS said. I don't think this was an "election year" statement, because by saying he supports same-sex marriage he runs the risk of losing as many votes as he'll gain. I think this was more "Well Joe said something, I've been skirting the issue, it's going to look bad if I don't say anything at all".
Either way, for the LGBT Americans who wish to be married, and the allies who take this up as a flagship issue, this is probably good news.
Either way, for the LGBT Americans who wish to be married, and the allies who take this up as a flagship issue, this is probably good news.
Monday, May 7, 2012
It's been a while, but I'm back with some surprising news!
I know it's been a while, but life had me on my toes for the last couple of weeks. I finally got that ridiculously hard paper finished, and God only knows if I passed my other course. Work was a little wild last month too, so that didn't leave a lot of room in my day to check in here. Things have gotten a little bit more controllable now, so I'll probably be back for a while.
There have been a lot of crazy events in the land of the switchhitters lately. The first thing I want on the agenda is really not something I'm happy to hear. The site that launched the "I Am Visible" campaign is shutting down. "I Am Visible" was a great initiative to fight biphobia and erasure, it just never really took off as well as say, The Trevor Project did. The site was an incredible resource for the bisexual community and I truly am sad to see it go. You can still check it out at: Bi Social Network...signing off :(
Speaking of campaigns with great messages that I'd love to see take off, You Can Play seems to be going somewhere! This awesome interview appeared in Philly Gay News not too long ago, and I actually got the chance to chat with Patrick Burke, You Can Play founder and scout for the Flyers, about a possible YCP appearance at June's PhillyPride or possibly Outfest! in October. Burke was at Equality Forum over the weekend, so hopefully the schedule will allow for some YCP at our pride events! The online shop that carries merch to raise awareness of the initiative should be open right in time for Pride month, around June first.
And one more piece before I sign off for the day, Vice-President Joe Biden has come out in support of gay unions! I ran across this on CatholicsForEquality's Twitter feed, but now his comments have gone viral and can be found all over the place.
"I am absolutely comfortable with the fact that men marrying men, women marrying women, and heterosexual men and women marrying another are entitled to the same exact rights, all the civil rights, all the civil liberties,and quite frankly, I don't see much of a distinction beyond that. The good news is that as more and more Americans become to understand what this is all about is a simple proposition," he said. "Who do you love? Who do you love? And will you be loyal to the person you love? And that's what people are finding out is what -- what all marriages, at their root, are about." -Joe Biden on Meet The Press, April 6th 2012
This is actually pretty great news for the LGBT Catholic/Episcopalian community, because Biden is the highest ranking Catholic in the United States political system. This is a great merging of faith and morality that's so, so positive for progress on civil unions/gay marriage in this country. It may be words but they're strong words. Stronger even than President Barack Obama has ever offered on the issue. A huge step forward with just a few sentences.
There have been a lot of crazy events in the land of the switchhitters lately. The first thing I want on the agenda is really not something I'm happy to hear. The site that launched the "I Am Visible" campaign is shutting down. "I Am Visible" was a great initiative to fight biphobia and erasure, it just never really took off as well as say, The Trevor Project did. The site was an incredible resource for the bisexual community and I truly am sad to see it go. You can still check it out at: Bi Social Network...signing off :(
Speaking of campaigns with great messages that I'd love to see take off, You Can Play seems to be going somewhere! This awesome interview appeared in Philly Gay News not too long ago, and I actually got the chance to chat with Patrick Burke, You Can Play founder and scout for the Flyers, about a possible YCP appearance at June's PhillyPride or possibly Outfest! in October. Burke was at Equality Forum over the weekend, so hopefully the schedule will allow for some YCP at our pride events! The online shop that carries merch to raise awareness of the initiative should be open right in time for Pride month, around June first.
And one more piece before I sign off for the day, Vice-President Joe Biden has come out in support of gay unions! I ran across this on CatholicsForEquality's Twitter feed, but now his comments have gone viral and can be found all over the place.
"I am absolutely comfortable with the fact that men marrying men, women marrying women, and heterosexual men and women marrying another are entitled to the same exact rights, all the civil rights, all the civil liberties,and quite frankly, I don't see much of a distinction beyond that. The good news is that as more and more Americans become to understand what this is all about is a simple proposition," he said. "Who do you love? Who do you love? And will you be loyal to the person you love? And that's what people are finding out is what -- what all marriages, at their root, are about." -Joe Biden on Meet The Press, April 6th 2012
This is actually pretty great news for the LGBT Catholic/Episcopalian community, because Biden is the highest ranking Catholic in the United States political system. This is a great merging of faith and morality that's so, so positive for progress on civil unions/gay marriage in this country. It may be words but they're strong words. Stronger even than President Barack Obama has ever offered on the issue. A huge step forward with just a few sentences.
Monday, April 16, 2012
How Do You Mix Being Bisexual and Butch Without Getting Rejected?
Good (freakishly early in my book) morning, people!
Before I even get started on today's bisexual rant, I have to get this out of the way. OH MY GOD, FLYERS. That...in my expert opinion, was an ass whoopin'! Fluery looked like he was going to cry when the Pens took him out of the net. Watching like four line fights bust out was awesome, especially when Claude Giroux went and fought Cindy Crosby. That was beautiful. Hartnell's "you pulled my hair, bitch!" was legendary. I love the NHL. Okay, sorry. I had to butch out there because I'm still elated from yesterday.
Speaking of butching out, I read this great one shot this morning about being bisexual and presenting as what's called a "soft butch". For my het friends that read this, let me explain what that means. In the gay community, but especially when you're talking about bisexual and lesbian women, there are a trillion labels and "types" of gay. Now some people are of the variety that disregard those terms completely, but I'm not one of them. A "soft butch" is pretty much a gay girl who physically or in her mannerisms come off as a little masculne. Someone like the chick who wrote this article, even someone like Kat von D from LA Ink (if she turned out to be gay ...wish) could be included in the "soft butch" spectrum in their own ways.
In reading this piece that I'm talking about, I got to thinking a lot about how twisted up some people would get about a bisexual woman who presented as more on the butch side. The author makes a really interesting point towards the end of her piece about how bisexual women have turned her down before, because they didn't "see the point" of a butch fencesitter. I understand that completely, and I've had the same thought, even though I'm rather "futch" myself. Guilty as charged.
(Not really butch, but not really frilly little femme either. Probably a chapstick lesbian somewhere in there, haha!)
In her case, I can't help but wonder if that experience would be different if she were a lesbian. It doesn't seem like bisexuals get a fair shake at being anything than "hetero passive" these days. Looking like you could pass for straight is pretty much accepted (and hated) when it comes to bisexuals. Deviating from that exterior usually causes some stir, at least from what I've witnessed.
The other thing that kind of clicked in my head when I read this was how drastically different some bi people can be when they're in opposite-sex and same-sex relationships. I know at least for me, I do a total 180 in my behavior depending on who I'm with. When I'm with another chick, I'm usually the more butch of the pair. The dominant part of my personality comes out, and even the way I talk has more of a masculine ring to it. But if I'm in a hetero relationship, the exact opposite happens. I don't think about it, it just sort of does it on its own. It's almost like a subconscious shift.
As far as rejection based on those behaviors or "butch traits" goes, I think I've really gotten that more from men than I have from women. I don't know if it's intimidating, or if some of the guys I've run across swear that one day I'm going to say I'm gay and that's it (hey biphobia, how ya doin...) or what. I wonder if it's a subconscious thing relating to sexuality and perception in the public sometimes, you know, like "she's so masculine, I wonder if he's really gay and in denial". It would be narrow minded, but I could see that thought process.
I know there's that old crack on bisexuals never being alone on a Saturday night, or that we double our chances. But in reality, the game of rejection and attraction gets so much more complicated once you start batting for both teams.
Before I even get started on today's bisexual rant, I have to get this out of the way. OH MY GOD, FLYERS. That...in my expert opinion, was an ass whoopin'! Fluery looked like he was going to cry when the Pens took him out of the net. Watching like four line fights bust out was awesome, especially when Claude Giroux went and fought Cindy Crosby. That was beautiful. Hartnell's "you pulled my hair, bitch!" was legendary. I love the NHL. Okay, sorry. I had to butch out there because I'm still elated from yesterday.
Speaking of butching out, I read this great one shot this morning about being bisexual and presenting as what's called a "soft butch". For my het friends that read this, let me explain what that means. In the gay community, but especially when you're talking about bisexual and lesbian women, there are a trillion labels and "types" of gay. Now some people are of the variety that disregard those terms completely, but I'm not one of them. A "soft butch" is pretty much a gay girl who physically or in her mannerisms come off as a little masculne. Someone like the chick who wrote this article, even someone like Kat von D from LA Ink (if she turned out to be gay ...wish) could be included in the "soft butch" spectrum in their own ways.
In reading this piece that I'm talking about, I got to thinking a lot about how twisted up some people would get about a bisexual woman who presented as more on the butch side. The author makes a really interesting point towards the end of her piece about how bisexual women have turned her down before, because they didn't "see the point" of a butch fencesitter. I understand that completely, and I've had the same thought, even though I'm rather "futch" myself. Guilty as charged.
(Not really butch, but not really frilly little femme either. Probably a chapstick lesbian somewhere in there, haha!)
In her case, I can't help but wonder if that experience would be different if she were a lesbian. It doesn't seem like bisexuals get a fair shake at being anything than "hetero passive" these days. Looking like you could pass for straight is pretty much accepted (and hated) when it comes to bisexuals. Deviating from that exterior usually causes some stir, at least from what I've witnessed.
The other thing that kind of clicked in my head when I read this was how drastically different some bi people can be when they're in opposite-sex and same-sex relationships. I know at least for me, I do a total 180 in my behavior depending on who I'm with. When I'm with another chick, I'm usually the more butch of the pair. The dominant part of my personality comes out, and even the way I talk has more of a masculine ring to it. But if I'm in a hetero relationship, the exact opposite happens. I don't think about it, it just sort of does it on its own. It's almost like a subconscious shift.
As far as rejection based on those behaviors or "butch traits" goes, I think I've really gotten that more from men than I have from women. I don't know if it's intimidating, or if some of the guys I've run across swear that one day I'm going to say I'm gay and that's it (hey biphobia, how ya doin...) or what. I wonder if it's a subconscious thing relating to sexuality and perception in the public sometimes, you know, like "she's so masculine, I wonder if he's really gay and in denial". It would be narrow minded, but I could see that thought process.
I know there's that old crack on bisexuals never being alone on a Saturday night, or that we double our chances. But in reality, the game of rejection and attraction gets so much more complicated once you start batting for both teams.
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
Supercreep is Gone (for now.)
Good Morning everybody!
Oh Happy Day, Supercreep is no longer a possible President. At least, not this time. The Advocate ran a story saying that he might be back in 2016. I don't want him back. I'm pretty sure no LGBT person, sane Catholic, or sane person for that matter would want to see the possibility of that assclown running the free world. So for right now, we will celebrate!
It looks like it's going to be Romney against Obama for the presidency. Looks like I'll be supporting Barack again. Namely because I think Mitt Romney isn't what this country needs as a leader. Not at this time, and maybe not ever. I'm not really a "ra ra Obama" type, but considering the cesspool that this place was when he took office it's pretty astounding that we're not swirling around the bowl right now. I know that the HRC and a lot of people in the gay community aren't happy with Obama because of how the fight for marriage equality is going. That isn't my flagship issue, so it's not a dealbreaker for me. Also, progress has been made- that would have been unthinkable at Stonewall, back in the start of this fight. Repealing Don't Ask Don't Tell was a bigger issue for me than gay marriage (let the flaming emails begin...) so 'Bama gets some points from this chick.
Enough of that for one day, eh?
It pleases my little heart to say that Saturday Night Live is now a little more gay. Kate McKinnon (the really adorable short haired blonde from the "Lesbian Cliche Song" video) has become the first openly lesbian comic on SNL. ;)
She's in this with Sophia Vergara! And the dude who's playing the show host looks a lot like my ex....O_O
Oh Happy Day, Supercreep is no longer a possible President. At least, not this time. The Advocate ran a story saying that he might be back in 2016. I don't want him back. I'm pretty sure no LGBT person, sane Catholic, or sane person for that matter would want to see the possibility of that assclown running the free world. So for right now, we will celebrate!
It looks like it's going to be Romney against Obama for the presidency. Looks like I'll be supporting Barack again. Namely because I think Mitt Romney isn't what this country needs as a leader. Not at this time, and maybe not ever. I'm not really a "ra ra Obama" type, but considering the cesspool that this place was when he took office it's pretty astounding that we're not swirling around the bowl right now. I know that the HRC and a lot of people in the gay community aren't happy with Obama because of how the fight for marriage equality is going. That isn't my flagship issue, so it's not a dealbreaker for me. Also, progress has been made- that would have been unthinkable at Stonewall, back in the start of this fight. Repealing Don't Ask Don't Tell was a bigger issue for me than gay marriage (let the flaming emails begin...) so 'Bama gets some points from this chick.
Enough of that for one day, eh?
It pleases my little heart to say that Saturday Night Live is now a little more gay. Kate McKinnon (the really adorable short haired blonde from the "Lesbian Cliche Song" video) has become the first openly lesbian comic on SNL. ;)
She's in this with Sophia Vergara! And the dude who's playing the show host looks a lot like my ex....O_O
Sunday, April 8, 2012
Easter!
Happy Easter everybody.
I went to mass this morning and that was really good. I always like the positive, hopeful feel of this holiday.
Spending the evening having dinner at home with my partner. We'll probably be too stuffed with pasta, cannoli, and ricotta pie to move in a couple hours. :D
I went to mass this morning and that was really good. I always like the positive, hopeful feel of this holiday.
Spending the evening having dinner at home with my partner. We'll probably be too stuffed with pasta, cannoli, and ricotta pie to move in a couple hours. :D
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