How Do You Mix Being Bisexual and Butch Without Getting Rejected?

Good (freakishly early in my book) morning, people!

Before I even get started on today's bisexual rant, I have to get this out of the way. OH MY GOD, FLYERS. That...in my expert opinion, was an ass whoopin'! Fluery looked like he was going to cry when the Pens took him out of the net. Watching like four line fights bust out was awesome, especially when Claude Giroux went and fought Cindy Crosby. That was beautiful. Hartnell's "you pulled my hair, bitch!" was legendary. I love the NHL. Okay, sorry. I had to butch out there because I'm still elated from yesterday.

Speaking of butching out, I read this great one shot this morning about being bisexual and presenting as what's called a "soft butch". For my het friends that read this, let me explain what that means. In the gay community, but especially when you're talking about bisexual and lesbian women, there are a trillion labels and "types" of gay. Now some people are of the variety that disregard those terms completely, but I'm not one of them. A "soft butch" is pretty much a gay girl who physically or in her mannerisms come off as a little masculne. Someone like the chick who wrote this article, even someone like Kat von D from LA Ink (if she turned out to be gay ...wish) could be included in the "soft butch" spectrum in their own ways.
In reading this piece that I'm talking about, I got to thinking a lot about how twisted up some people would get about a bisexual woman who presented as more on the butch side. The author makes a really interesting point towards the end of her piece about how bisexual women have turned her down before, because they didn't "see the point" of a butch fencesitter. I understand that completely, and I've had the same thought, even though I'm rather "futch" myself. Guilty as charged.

(Not really butch, but not really frilly little femme either. Probably a chapstick lesbian somewhere in there, haha!)

In her case, I can't help but wonder if that experience would be different if she were a lesbian. It doesn't seem like bisexuals get a fair shake at being anything than "hetero passive" these days. Looking like you could pass for straight is pretty much accepted (and hated) when it comes to bisexuals. Deviating from that exterior usually causes some stir, at least from what I've witnessed.

The other thing that kind of clicked in my head when I read this was how drastically different some bi people can be when they're in opposite-sex and same-sex relationships. I know at least for me, I do a total 180 in my behavior depending on who I'm with. When I'm with another chick, I'm usually the more butch of the pair. The dominant part of my personality comes out, and even the way I talk has more of a masculine ring to it. But if I'm in a hetero relationship, the exact opposite happens. I don't think about it, it just sort of does it on its own. It's almost like a subconscious shift.

As far as rejection based on those behaviors or "butch traits" goes, I think I've really gotten that more from men than I have from women. I don't know if it's intimidating, or if some of the guys I've run across swear that one day I'm going to say I'm gay and that's it (hey biphobia, how ya doin...) or what. I wonder if it's a subconscious thing relating to sexuality and perception in the public sometimes, you know, like "she's so masculine, I wonder if he's really gay and in denial". It would be narrow minded, but I could see that thought process.

I know there's that old crack on bisexuals never being alone on a Saturday night, or that we double our chances. But in reality, the game of rejection and attraction gets so much more complicated once you start batting for both teams.

Supercreep is Gone (for now.)

Good Morning everybody!
Oh Happy Day, Supercreep is no longer a possible President. At least, not this time. The Advocate ran a story saying that he might be back in 2016. I don't want him back. I'm pretty sure no LGBT person, sane Catholic, or sane person for that matter would want to see the possibility of that assclown running the free world. So for right now, we will celebrate!
It looks like it's going to be Romney against Obama for the presidency. Looks like I'll be supporting Barack again. Namely because I think Mitt Romney isn't what this country needs as a leader. Not at this time, and maybe not ever. I'm not really a "ra ra Obama" type, but considering the cesspool that this place was when he took office it's pretty astounding that we're not swirling around the bowl right now. I know that the HRC and a lot of people in the gay community aren't happy with Obama because of how the fight for marriage equality is going. That isn't my flagship issue, so it's not a dealbreaker for me. Also, progress has been made- that would have been unthinkable at Stonewall, back in the start of this fight. Repealing Don't Ask Don't Tell was a bigger issue for me than gay marriage (let the flaming emails begin...) so 'Bama gets some points from this chick.
Enough of that for one day, eh?
It pleases my little heart to say that Saturday Night Live is now a little more gay. Kate McKinnon (the really adorable short haired blonde from the "Lesbian Cliche Song" video) has become the first openly lesbian comic on SNL. ;)

She's in this with Sophia Vergara! And the dude who's playing the show host looks a lot like my ex....O_O

Easter!

Happy Easter everybody.
I went to mass this morning and that was really good. I always like the positive, hopeful feel of this holiday.
Spending the evening having dinner at home with my partner. We'll probably be too stuffed with pasta, cannoli, and ricotta pie to move in a couple hours. :D